↳ Import QST.Meta SoundEffects("CharlieBrown") → QST.Archives[B1] #name = B1
@Insertables: <sponsoring-fraternity/sorority>, <grocery chain>
#DEFN: @VAR #fifteen2016#
QST::PerpetualUpdate(applyInflation(#fifteen2016# = $15.2016));
New Scene()
A 17-year-old brown-haired girl is sitting in a college lecture hall, sleeping in her seat. In the front of the classroom, a male professor around 50 is standing with a large slide projected behind him from an overhead projector mounted on the ceiling. About 1 in 8 students in the classroom is asleep, including a girl next to the brown-haired one.
Professor: Break is over, so I’ll now resume.
Some students pick their heads up, but others do not.
Professor: Before we took a breather we were talking about the founding of the University of California system. Right now I want to change gears slightly and jump ahead a few decades to the founding of this university–yes?
The professor calls on a boy about 3/4 of the way to the back of the classroom.
Boy: Um, who’s this we? Weren’t you doing all of the talking?
Professor: I mean we, as in the royal we. I’m used to participation being a little bit than it has been today. Speaking of which, is everyone under the weather or something?
A few students in the audience shrug.
Professor: Well, our own school, the University of California San Andreas, was founded a five years ago to help keep high-income students in the state. After analyzing several trends, we’ve discovered that high-income families have a tendency to make large charitable donations to their child’s alma-mater. This extra money would then go into boosting the rest of the U.C. system.
The brown-haired girl opens her eyes slightly.
Girl: Don’t remind me.
Professor: After five years, the system is working, it’s not going quite as well as we hoped. So next time you see your parents, please ask them to send more money.
The professor continues to talk, but QST.camera focuses on the girl and her thoughts drown out what the professor is saying.
Girl: Just get on with it already. It’s taken everything I have just to afford this place–short of actually taking out loans–so stop asking for money already.
New Scene()
The students clear out of the lecture hall, and the brown-haired girl is among them. As she walks, she (and QST.camera) overhear a boy and girl debating which (fancy) restaurant they should attend, and the girl’s stomach gurgles noisily.
Brown-Haired Girl: Forget the first world, these people have zeroth world problems.
Boy: Forget about the price, I’ll just ask my folks for another ten grand.
The brown-haired girl pushes away from the couple through the crowd.
Brown-Haired Girl: When I came here, I would assume that that wasn’t just for one date, but now I know it easily could be.
The brown-haired girl continues to walk through the crowds, moving towards the edge of the crowds.
Brown-Haired Girl: It must’ve been what? One? Two days since my last meal. I swear that sometimes the only thing that gets me from class to class is the knowledge that it’s physically possible, evidenced by the fact that people in Africa go for weeks without food.
Suddenly the brown-haired girl appears to get hit by a stroke of nausea, and has to hold onto a wall to stabilize herself.
Brown-Haired Girl: At least that was my last class of the day.
The brown-haired girl, now stable, pushes off the wall and walks through a pair of glass doors into the evening.
The quad is beautifully lit up as the girl exits, with people talking and eating.
Narrator: Welcome to the University of California San Andreas. A school in the middle of nowhere, located directly on top of the famous San Andreas earthquake fault. Of course, there’s no way this could possibly go wrong…
The girl’s stomach growls again and she stops by a table to put her bag down. Here, she opens it and extracts a 2.5 foot boomerang with "property of Rachel Stratos" written on it. The text is barely visible in the fading light. Placing this on the table closes and re-equips the bag.
Girl’s voice: Hey Rachel!
The brown-haired girl turns, as an extremely energetic girl about her age runs toward her.
Girl: What're you doing?! (excited)
Brown-Haired Girl → Rachel: Oh, Whitney?!
Girl → Whitney: Where have you been?! There’s going to be a party at the <sponsoring-fraternity/sorority> house tonight! We’re going to be late!
Rachel: Will there be anything to eat there?
Whitney: It’s more of a rave-type party, so I don’t think so
Rachel: Then I might check it out after dinner then.
Whitney: You’re always so obsessed with food! (cheeky)
Rachel: Because you don’t believe me when I say I can’t afford the dining hall. As it is, the Trump concession stand eats up my weekly allowance.
Whitney: Well, okay. But it’s always nicer to go with someone.
Rachel: Please Whitney, let me get dinner first. I haven’t eaten in thirty-six hours.
Whitney looks sad, but concedes, and Rachel darts off.
New Scene()
Rachel is walking around the backside of the quad. Evening is approaching, but it’s still light enough to see. A cawing sound is echoes through the trees, and as it does, Rachel draws her boomerang. QST.camera zooms in on Rachel as the cawing sound echoes again. Rachel hurls the boomerang and a split-second later there is a loud squark, then a whooshing of air as the boomerang returns to Rachel.
Narrator: Food at UC San Andreas is generally expensive, which forces middle-class students to improvise means of obtaining it.
Rachel walks over to where the crow was as the narrator continues:
Narrator: There is usually free food at events put on by the greeks, but in long breaks between events, well…
Rachel picks up the stunned crow, and QST.camera zooms up to her face as a small popping occurs offscreen from Rachel breaking the crow’s neck. QST.camera now moves away from Rachel and towards the woods where there is a small glow from a campfire. Rachel moves back into view of QST.camera as she walks towards this campsite.
New Scene()
Rachel arrives at the campsite as a heavily freckled boy is tending the fire.
Boy: Rachel, you’re back!
Rachel: Hey, Bob.
Rachel unzips one of the tents (hers) and places her backpack inside.
Boy → Bob: What are you having for dinner?
Rachel: Just a pair of wild crows.
Boy’s Voice from Offscreen: So I guess they weren’t kidding when they said that the middle class eat crow.
Rachel starts to say something in response, but she’s cut off by her own stomach growling.
Rachel: I’d rather hunt then rummage through the trash cans behind–
Boy’s Voice from Offscreen: Hey, you gotta get with the times. That’s how you live off of the land these days.
Rachel pulls out a non-stick frying pan from her tent, and places both dead crows in it. She then sits down over the fire to cook the dead crows, which are now featherless.
Rachel: I prefer to think of myself as a little higher on the food chain.
Bob cracks up laughing.
Bob: Rachel, do you think you’re little brother will ever come here?
Rachel: I don’t know Bob, he hates camping.
Boy’s Voice from Offscreen: Not many other options for the middle class though.
Rachel: If he came here, Benjy would think of something. It would be genius and utterly ridiculous at the same time.
Bob: Like getting a campus job?
Rachel: It would be easy to see him working as a department secretary or something.
The crows crackle in the fire, which Rachel takes to mean that they are done cooking. As the sky darkens, another girl approaches, and the sound of her approaching is heard through the camp under the crunching of dry leaves.
Girl: I don’t think your brother would come here.
The girl flicks on a lantern which illuminates the campsite where Rachel, three boys, and one other girl are sitting. This comment comes off on deaf ears.
Bob: Yo Hannah. Why not?
Girl → Hannah: It doesn’t fit him. You said that he’s more of an inside person, right?
Rachel nods.
Boy’s Voice from Offscreen: Well, probably if he didn’t get in anywhere else…
Hannah: Helloooo Oliver, there’s community college.
Boy’s Voice from Offscreen → Oliver: This conversation is under the assumption he applies to a 4-year.
QST.camera rotates to show Oliver, who is eating a fish he’s caught.
Rachel: To be honest, I do see community college as a better fit for him. Benjy’s a D-I-Y-er by nature. If there’s something he wants that’s not available to him he’ll just make it.
Oliver: But can you make a four-year education?
Hannah: What do you think you’re doing now?
Rachel: On a different topic, I heard that there was a rave-type-thing going on at <sponsoring-fraternity/sorority>, Whitney invited me.
Hannah: You need your rest, Rachel.
Rachel: But…
Hannah: Whitney will be more cautious if you’re not there. It might even save her life.
Bob: How so?
Hannah: How do you think? Rachel, just go to sleep if you’re done with your dinner.
Rachel sighs.
Refresh Scene(@Temporal = Night)
Rachel lies half-asleep in her tent.
Rachel: Little brother hates camping. Not a big fan of luxury either, which leaves almost no reason to go here. Speaking of which, I haven’t heard from Isabelle either. I wonder how she’s holding up.
The sound of crickets chirping echo in the night.
Rachel: I can’t believe this. I’ve been so busy with classwork that I haven’t had much time to get food. You’d think that with all those posters of starving children in Africa, the rich kids would be willing to share a little food with the starving children right next to them…
QST.camera now shifts from Rachel’s tent to Hannah and Bob. Hannah peels back the lid on a cup of Ramen noodles, and starts to heat them over the fire.
Bob: It’s kind of ironic, don’t you think?
Hannah: What is?
Bob: How they don’t take your income into account when they admit people here. Everyone pays the same UC tuition, but the living costs are just–
Hannah: Don’t even get me started.
Hannah’s Ramen starts to boil, and she pulls it away from the fire and starts eating it.
Bob: Well given that it’s designed for rich kids…
Oliver: I think admitting by income level would be illegal. Counts as discrimination I believe.
Hannah: Nah, they’re just trying to suck money out of everyone they can. Why do you think it’s an hour and a half to the nearest <grocery chain>. And even that is the only store in this part of the state that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.
Oliver: You going to stock up again this weekend?
Hannah: Thinking about trading in my car for a jeep.
Bob: That would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.
Oliver: You could start your own business, trucking in food.
Hannah: If only the university would allow that…
Oliver: Just means you can’t do anything officially.
Hannah: No financial transactions allowed except with university and university-approved services.
Another boy walks into the campsite.
Oliver: Hey, Jim!
Jim: Couldn’t help overhearing. What if we used bitcoin?
Bob: Might work. But it might end up in a nasty court fight.
Hannah: That’s redundant.
Bob: Anyways, not everyone has bitcoins. We’d have to barter.
Oliver: You mean like they do with grade points?
Jim: They don’t actually let you buy and sell grade points. That’s a myth.
Bob: I could have sworn…
Jim: Not everyone knows that. And of course it still doesn’t change the fact that this entire institution is a disgrace to the entire education industry.
Hannah emphasizes the word "industry" in her below comment.
Hannah: The education industry is a disgrace to itself.
Bob: On another topic, how did your hunt go?
Jim curses under his breath.
Jim: These pokémon must be immortal, I swear.
QST.camera now shifts back to Rachel, who is still awake but just barely.
Hannah’s voice: Oh no. What did you do?
Jim’s voice: I tried to shoot down a wild Fearow, I think it was. All it did was make it mad and it attacked me. I shot it at point-blank range too, I literally had the gun right up against it’s head. Bullets just don’t work on them.
QST.camera now shifts back to the students sitting round the fire, and two asian girls join them.
Girl2: Like, not at all?
Jim: Not at all. Not even at point-blank–
Hannah: Can you stop this? I can’t afford to throw up this cheap ramen that I just ingested.
Girl1: I wonder if Rachel’s boomerang could…
Bob: Doubt it. Those pokémon are clearly from another dimension, and I swear, to them this must be their version of Elder Tale.
Girl1: Elder Tale?
Bob: From a TV show about people who get sucked into a video game universe. Basically whenever the people die, they just respawn like it’s a game. I think that’s what’s going on with pokémon, except instead of respawning, they’re just immortal.
Oliver: Nah, we just haven’t figured out how to kill ‘em.
Hannah: Except they’re the ones from inside the video game, not us.
Bob: Same difference.
Jim: I hate to admit it, but that’s the first time I’ve heard that expression used in a way that it makes sense.
Girl2: Could you guys try to keep it down? Rachel is trying to sleep.
The other students immediately quiet down as QST.camera returns to Rachel’s tent, just in time for her to fall fast asleep.
New Scene(@Temporal = Early_Morning)
Rachel is awakened by her stomach growling. Rachel looks around her, then slowly rolls out of her sleeping bag.
Rachel: Lets see, do I have time to go hunting before class?
Rachel pulls out a watch and stares at it.
Rachel: It’s almost nine?!
Rachel quickly drops her watch and grabs her supplies, this causes her watch to fall. Quickly, she gathers her materials together and exits her tent.
New Scene()
Rachel walks briskly onto the quad, where students are milling about aimlessly. One sorority has a booth out, with a semi-provocatively-dressed pregnant girl sitting in it with her belly exposed. A sign is nearby that says that for a $40 donation, one can rub her belly. Rachel pays this no heed as she makes a b-line for the far end of the quad.
Despite this, a group of three rich boys approach Rachel, but she dismisses them by saying that she’s in a hurry, and leaves the boys in the dust.
Boy2: I haven’t seen her around much, I wonder if.
Boy3: No, you aren’t going to buy your way out of a harassment charge.
Boy2: It worked for Trump, though.
Boy1: You aren’t the next Donald Trump. Even if you do have his hairstyle.
Girl: And it’s just as atrocious on you as it is on him.
This comment leaves the second boy stunned.
Boy3: Oh my god. Burn!
QST.camera now zooms ahead towards where Rachel is. Rachel enters a long building and quickly moves down the hallway. Walking past several other groups of students in the hallway. After walking for several minutes, Rachel emerges at the other end of the building, and briskly walks across a concrete pathway and into the next building over, through a door with a radiation symbol on it.
QST.camera now zooms out, and starts to slowly circle around the building.
Narrator: This is the UC San Andreas nuclear power plant, which supplies power to the entire campus. Here students are taught not only about nuclear physics, but also about how to safely operate a nuclear plant.
New Scene()
In one of the rooms, Rachel is putting on hazmat gear. Rachel first puts a hood, then lead-lined gloves, fastening them to her wrist before checking her suit. After this, Rachel steps through a door marked with a radioactive symbol, and QST.camera follows her into a briefing room.
Teacher: B1.Othmar(25 sec);
Student: So we’ll just continue experimenting then?
Teacher: B1.Othmar(8 sec);
Teacher: #Russian("Why do they insist of speaking English? I don’t know English!")
Teacher: B1.Othmar(33 sec);
The teacher now dismisses the class into the lab.
Rachel: I’d be afraid, but I don’t think this is a real nuclear plant.
New Scene()
Two rabbits are walking through the inside of the nuclear plant. Both are carrying magical-girl-style magic wands.
Rabbit1: I’m tired. Early, why did we ever follow him down that manhole.
Rabbit2 → Early: Because it was just so curious. Late, have you ever seen a white man run that fast?
Rabbit1 → Late: Early, that’s racist.
Early: And he kept saying that he was late. But you’re Late!
Late: No, I’m Late!
Early: No, you’re Late!
Late: No, I’m Late!
Early: No, you’re Late!
Late: No, I’m Late! You’re Early!
Early: No, I’m Early! You’re Late!
Both Early and Late turn to face each other, and sparks fly between their eyes. At this point, Rachel appears in the background, but doesn’t seem to pay any attention to Early and Late. QST.camera switches to Rachel who is examining some dials on some control panel. As QST.camera approaches Rachel, QST.camera synchronizes with Rachel’s vision. The dials all have odd characters and equations on them that make no sense. Rachel takes out a digital camera and takes a picture of these recordings, then proceeds to compare it to another picture.
Rachel: So they didn’t change them… They just don’t make any zarking sense. It looks as if someone just wanted them to look scientific-ish. I’ve never before been afraid to say that the emperor has no clothes, and I’m not changing that now.
Rachel starts to touch a dial, and then hesitates.
Rachel: Lesson one of working in a nuclear power plant:
QST.camera desynchronizes with Rachel’s vision.
Rachel: If you don’t know what something does, don’t touch it.
Rachel walks away from the control panel.
Rachel: I never understood why we’re supposed to do in this class. As far as I can tell, it’s just walk around and make sure that this thing doesn’t pull a Chernobyl… Which would be a lot easier if they’d actually teach us something. So maybe all we’re supposed to is walk around.
Rachel starts walking in the direction of Early and Late’s prior location; the two rabbits have since vacated their post.
Rachel: So I guess we’re just supposed to walk around… But what would be the purpose of that?
Rachel strokes her chin.
Rachel: Maybe to convince the public that nuclear power is safe? Seems like a waste of time, but if it’s free credits and free GPA… Walking around…
Suddenly Rachel sees something that makes her gag.
Rachel: Which is not what that couple is doing!
Rachel suddenly begins to look sick, and then she collapses to her knees.
Rachel: Is that a–
QST.camera quickly shifts to Early and Late, who are watching Rachel from where they are sitting high up on the nuclear reactor.
Early: Oh no! It looks like she’s in trouble! What should we do?!
Late: Let her handle it.
Early: That was a rhetorical question, Late. There’s only one thing to do!
Early stands up and raises her wand into the air.
Late: Oh fine, I guess I’ll join you…
Early and Late recite the following line in unison, despite their very different tones of voice.
{Early, Late}: Magic of space! Magic of time! Bridge the abyss into the world of dreams and bring forth a new reality!
Both Early’s wand and Late’s wand begin to glow, and the light engulfs the two of them.
Cutscene(Magical Girl Transformation: Early, Late) {
The energy emitted from the wands shoots down Early and Late, transforming into clothes for the pair of rabbits. The light condenses into two brilliantly shining outfits both with blouses and dresses. Then the light fades, allowing the outfits to become visible. Early’s outfit is red and Late’s outfit is blue. In one final burst of energy, magical ribbons matching the color of their outfits tie themselves around each of the rabbits’ ears.
}
Early: Don’t worry, person in distress! Magical Girl Early the Crimson is here to save you.
Late: Yay… (sarcastic)
Early immediately leaps down from the nuclear reactor, landing in front of Rachel, who is looking sick.
Early: Magical girl powers…
Early spins around in a circle.
Early: …activate!
Early winks and a pink heart is emitted from her left eye. Immediately following this, a washtub crashes down through the ceiling and lands in front of Rachel and next to Early, startling the latter. Rachel immediately grabs the washtub and throws up, with QST.camera being too close to the ground to see her vomit over the side of the washtub.
Early: …It worked?
Late now leaps down off the nuclear reactor and lands next to Early.
Late: Early, you idiot. We need to get her to a doctor!
Early: But my wand…
Late: Think with your brain, Early, not with your wand.
New Scene()
QST.camera starts out synchronized with Rachel’s vision. Rachel slowly opens her eyes to see the inside of a hospital room. QST.camera desynchronizes with Rachel’s vision as she looks around the inside of the hospital room. Rachel’s stomach suddenly growls. She starts to move, then quickly discovers that she has an IV in her left arm. Rachel very carefully removes the IV, then sits up.
Rachel: What happened to me?
Rachel starts by checking her hands and feet, and then checks around her for her belongings, and sighs in relief to see that they are at the right side of the bed that she’s currently lying in, in front of the IV. Her boomerang is with her other supplies. Rachel now looks over to her left side, where she spies a bell. Shrugging, she rings it.
Nurse’s voice: Coming!
Footsteps echo, and a young girl showing more cleavage than any real nurse ever would arrives running daintily. As she slows to a stop, she checks something in her pocket and suddenly her breasts bounce in an anime-style.
Nurse: How can I help you?
The nurse winks at Rachel.
Nurse: Or would you prefer a male nurse?
The nurse winks at Rachel again.
Rachel: I’m fine. Do you know how long I’ve been out?
Nurse: Not long. Just a few hours.
The nurse winks at Rachel again.
Rachel: Um… Why are you…
Nurse: I have to practice for when I treat boys…
Rachel: You realize that you’re lowering the glass ceiling every time you do that, right?
The nurse now assumes what seems to be a normal tone of voice.
Nurse: What do you mean by "glass ceiling?"
Rachel: It’s amazing what the rich will pay for.
Rachel: Never mind.
Nurse: I can assure you that I’m a fully certified student nurse…
Rachel: And when money talks, mysoginy walks. Tempting for a job, but Benjy would never forgive me. Mom might, but not after giving me an earful.
Nurse: Is something the matter?
Rachel: Why did an IV?
Nurse: Hmm… Let me get your chart.
The nurse darts off and disappears behind the curtains, before re-emerging about 5 seconds later with Rachel’s chart in hand.
Nurse: So it appears that your blood sugar is very low. I know dieting is important to maintaining your figure, but you mustn’t forget to eat…
Rachel: That explains it.
Nurse: If you’re always feeling fat, our councilors over at the–
Rachel: No, thank you…
Nurse: But if you don’t eat–
Rachel: I haven’t gotten a chance to eat lately.
This surprises the nurse.
Nurse: Seriously, we can help you–
Rachel: No, no. It makes sense now. I was caught up in my schoolwork and didn’t have time to go hunting–
Rachel catches herself.
Rachel: For places to eat… Most things are out of my price range…
Nurse: Then you should try the Trump Trailer! It’s fast food, so I wouldn’t go there often, but you can get a full meal for under #fifteen2016#.
Rachel’s stomach growls.
Rachel: Thanks, I’ll try that.
Rachel starts to get up.
Nurse: Be careful… Make sure you don’t trip and fall from being in bed for so long.
Rachel: I’m okay.
New Scene()
Rachel exits the hospital.
Rachel: Trump Trailer, huh? Sounds defective and overpriced.
New Scene()
Rachel walks through the forest around UC San Andrea holding a map of the school.
Rachel: Trump Trailer is supposed to be around here, huh? I don’t see–
The sound of a gunshot rings out, causing Rachel to stop walking and look around wildly. At first she sees nothing, but then spies a gold-plated trailer sitting in the forest.
Rachel: That must be it! But where did…
New Scene()
Rachel approaches the Trump trailer, keeping careful track of surroundings. As she approaches the entrance, the sound of footsteps cause Rachel to turn around. A large man is also walking towards the trailer’s entrance. This man looks like a country type, he has a rifle attached to his belt and a large, brightly-colored pony slung over his shoulder.
Man: Hey little lady, welcome to the fanciest trailer in all of U.C. San Andreas!
Rachel eyes the man nervously.
Man: Ain’t nothing to be shy about, come on in!
The man taps on Rachel’s shoulders, and she quickly enters the Trump Trailer ahead of the man.
Rachel: Not quite what I expected, but quite what I should have expected…
The inside of the Trump Trailer is gold-plated, but still has a country feel to it.
Man: Yo Daisy. Whaddya say we get some food in this little lady?
Daisy is standing behind the counter. She is middle-aged and somewhat overweight.
Daisy: I think it’s a fine idea, Rick.
Daisy turns to Rachel.
Daisy: Take a seat at the counter, and take a look at the menu.
Rachel takes a seat, and Daisy hands her a menu.
Daisy: We have two main dishes we serve here, critter and varmint, unless you want the special, but that costs extra.
Rick has now made his way around the counter carrying the dead, brightly colored pony.
Man → Rick: ‘Scuse me, Daisy.
Daisy: Holy cow, Rick. What in tarnation is that?
Rick: Don’ know. But I reckon it sure played a role in why little Timmy chose the lifestyle he did.
Daisy: You don’t think it’s a–
Rick: It don’ look a demon, sure. But that don’ mean it ain’t one. Whatever it is, figures we’d find it roaming the state famous for godless liberal pinko commies. Now if you’ll excuse me…
With this, Rick disappears into the back of the trailer. Rachel squints over the top of her menu.
Rachel: Was that a…?
Rachel: Um… What is the critter?
Daisy: Well we ain’t sure, that’s why we’re calling it critter. Rick shot it out back. Here’s a photo.
Daisy reaches under the counter and produces a photo of Rick holding up a dead Alf.
Rachel: Um, I think I… I don’t think I can eat that. What about the varmint?
Daisy takes the picture and places it back under the counter, and brings out another picture from under the counter, this time of a hydra with a gazillion bullet holes in it and guts bleeding out, and places it in front of Rachel.
Daisy: We call it the varmint because we found it in the chicken coop gulping down hens. It must’ve helped itself to half the coop before Rick was able to draw it’s attention.
Rachel: I think that’s a hydra.
Daisy: Hydra? Is that it’s species.
Rachel nods.
Rachel: It’s a monster from greek mythology.
Daisy: Hold on a minute.
Daisy turns around and hollers to Rick.
Daisy: RICK! The young lady says that the varmint is actually called a hydra!
Rick: What the zark is a hydra?!
Daisy: It’s the thing that snuck into the chicken coop on Monday during football! The young lady says it’s a monster from Greek mythology!
Rick: You know what that means?!
Daisy: What?
Rick now comes out of the backroom with a meat-cutting knife and glitter all over him.
Rick: We’re all going to get ruptured.
Daisy and Rachel both shiver, but for different reasons.
Rachel: I think he meant raptured, but…
Rick sticks something into Daisy’s mouth, and then places some wafers on the counter in front of Rachel.
Rick: Eat these, they’re on the house.
Rachel picks up some of the stale bread.
Rick: As long as they’re in your system you’ll be safe during the rupture.
Rachel takes a bite of the stale bread.
Daisy: I believe you liberals call them Jesus pieces.
Rachel nods.
Rachel: This isn’t bad, considering what I’ve eaten at some of those frat houses.
Rachel now also orders some of the hydra, paying with cash.
New Scene()
A yellow-haired boy sits a computer in a lab-like environment.
Boy: Argh! It doesn’t make sense! These nimis charts don’t correspond to…
The boy rapidly types things into the computer.
Boy: What’s happening!
Tornamistrik now enters the room with the boy.
Tonramistrik: Ryou, take a break. You can’t work in this mindset.
Ryou: But…
Tonramistrik: We’re archiving the nimis maps, you’ll be able to piece them together in the morning. We’ll find the Mew Aqua then.
New Scene()
Rachel walks through the forest, back towards her campsite. She is carrying her meal, a bucket full of deep-fried hydra necks, of which she has now finished most of.
Rachel: This isn’t bad either. I guess I can get used to eating mythical creatures; I’d just hate to fight that one with just my boomerang. I’d have to hit multiple heads, and then if one of it’s necks snapped…
Rachel suddenly stops, and QST.camera adjusts to show what she’s looking at: a small rabbit wearing a bright red magical-girl’s dress.
Rachel: That rabbit…
Cutscene<Flashback>() {
For the duration of this cutscene, QST.camera is synchronized with Rachel’s vision. As Rachel finishes throwing up into the washtub provided by Early, she sees Early before she passes out.
}
Cautiously eating her fried hydra necks, Rachel walks up towards the rabbit.
Rachel: Um, hello? Are you…
The rabbit immediately looks up at Rachel, and then replies in perfect English.
Early: I’m Magical Girl Early the Crimson! I’m just checking up on you, when we found you you were on the verge of passing out. Magical Girl Late the Indigo will be by your camp tonight, for one final checkup.
Early now flicks her wand and disappears in a shower of sparkles. Rachel looks down at the deep-fried hydra necks, as if expecting something, but then her stomach growls again, which prompts her to continue eating.
New Scene(@Temporal = Evening)
Rachel is looking over one of her textbooks by the light of the campfire when Hannah walks up to her.
Hannah: What’s this about you talking to a rabbit?
At first Rachel doesn’t respond, so Hannah puts her hand on Rachel’s book to make Rachel look up.
Rachel: ?
Hannah: I heard you were talking to a rabbit.
Rachel: How did you hear that?
Hannah: Bob told me… Scratch that. It was a little bird.
Rachel: I see…
Hannah: Or rather, a rabbit talked to you.
Rachel looks upwards and puts her face so close to Hannah’s that the latter pulls back away, giving the prior a bit more personal space.
Rachel: Given how we all know that this forest is teaming with pokémon, are talking rabbits really that hard to imagine?
Hannah: Rachel! Pokémon don’t talk!
Rachel: But is a talking rabbit any more incredulous than a real life pokémon?
Hannah: I heard you were hospitalized today. I think you should go back there.
Rachel: Even if I wanted to, I can’t afford to check in there. My insurance doesn’t cover–
Hannah: You’re showing signs of schizophrenia!
Rachel: Then so is everyone else on this planet!
Hannah: You spoke with a zarking rabbit!
Rachel: And you have a pet Riolu. I fail to see–
Hannah: Of course you do! To the hospital n–
Bob: Stand down!
Rachel and Hannah are now approached by Bob, Jim, and one of the Asian girls from the previous night. Hannah stares at Bob with indignation.
Hannah: How dare you–
Hannah cuts herself off as the Asian girl clasps her shoulder.
Girl1: Hannah, calm down. You know that we can’t afford it. (gentle)
Hannah relaxes, casting the girl a dark glare.
Bob: We shouldn’t be fighting amongst ourselves. Not at a time like this.
Jim: I’d never imagine you giving a ninety-nine percent speech.
Bob: That’s not what this is about.
Jim: Its not?
Bob: No. It’s about the rumor mill. You know there’s a brony frat on campus, right?
Jim: Dear lord…
Hannah: Go on…
Bob: Well, there’s a rumor that a magical pony on campus was killed today… so…
Jim: They planning a riot?
Bob: Not sure. But someone saw Rachel in that area.
Rachel: Dear God–
Girl1: I thought you don’t hunt mammals…
Rachel: I don’t.
Rachel stands up.
Rachel: First, the good news. The good news is that there’s an affordable eatery around here. It’s called the Trump Trailer and it’s run by a country couple named Rick and Daisy.
Jim: That is good news.
Girl1: But how is that related?
Hannah: I think I–
Refresh Scene()
QST.camera is zoomed out to about 20 feet from everyone, at a 40º angle.
Rachel: The bad news is that Rick did shoot some brightly colored pony today.
Jim: How did you find out about the Trump Trailer? That’s amazing!
Rachel: The first time I went to the hospital, I think the nurse told me.
Rachel: Or was it the talking rabbit? It’s all fuzzy…
Narrator: No pun intended.
Hannah: Anyway, you said that rabbit is going to check on you tonight? I’m going to give her a piece of my mind… …they do you our gender pronouns, don’t they?
Girl1: Well, if she called herself a magical girl…
Rachel: Believe me, I have a few questions for those rabbits as well.
Suddenly, soft footsteps cause all to become quiet. All five look around and are surprised to see Late approaching them.
Late: Oh, hi. So I see that you’re okay. I’ll go then.
QST.camera shifts into a picture of the five students in an anime mode of surprise.
Hannah: It does talk!
Girl1: It’s so cute!
QST.camera shifts back to normal, and refocuses on Late.
Late: I’m a "her", not an "it". Anyway, I have to go, b–
Rachel: Wait–who are you.
Late: I’m Late.
Bob: You’re… late? For what?
Late: Ohmygosh I am late! I’m going to miss Early!
Late hops around frantically in a circle twice as question marks appear over each of the students’ heads.
Late: Ohmygosh gotta-go, bye!
With this, Late begins to hop off.
{Rachel, Hannah, Girl1}: Wait!
All three girls immediately take off after Late. Note that Rachel is wearing a smaller backpack than her normal backpack. Both boys stand speechless.
Bob: Well this isn’t good. Remember what happened a girl chased after a talking rabbit.
Jim: What do you mean?
Bob: It starts with Alice, and ends with Wonderland…
Jim: Still not ringing a bell.
Bob: That’s why you’re in college.
New Scene(@Temporal = Evening)
Late races across the meadow.
Late: I’m Late! I’m Late! I’m Late!
QST.camera shifts back to the three girls running. Hannah trips on a root and goes sprawling.
Hannah: Come back here!
Late: I’m Late!
Rachel and the Asian girl dart past Hannah after Late.
Girl1: Rachel, where do you think she’s going?
Rachel: I don’t know Setzuna. That’s what I want to find out!
Girl1 → Setzuna: Well I hope she stops soon! I can’t go much further.
Rachel: I think we lost her…
Setzuna: We did?
Rachel: Yeah, I don’t see…
Rachel takes a step, and the ground slightly buckles under her left foot.
Rachel: Huh?
Rachel starts to move her left foot, but the ground suddenly collapses around her. Rachel lets out a miniature scream as she grasps for solid ground, and Setzuna leaps for her, trying to grab her hand. Despite this attempt, Setzuna doesn’t even come close to grabbing Rachel’s hand and is unable to do anything but lie on the ground and stare down the rabbit hole helplessly as Rachel falls.
Narrator: This is quite a coincidence–or is it? Just how many people are getting dimensionally displaced? At the time I am saying these lines, there are around three thousand more missing people than normal. At least half are thought to have left the universe.
Refresh Scene()
Rachel comes crashing down to the bottom of the rabbit hole creating a collision which kicks up a large amount of dust. Rachel puts her arm in front of her mouth and waits for the dust to clear.
Narrator: So far, ninety-nine percent of these disappearances have been within fifty miles of the pacific rim…
Rachel: Curiouser and curiouser my (bleep)!
…///To Be Continued///…
© November 23, 2016 by Benjy Strauss