↳ Import QST.Lyrical
QST.Lyrical define template as $C01 {
<Lyrics(text = green, style = italics)> … </Lyrics>
<Events> … </Events>
}
New Scene(Previously_On_Trigamon) {
Team Rocket: Looks like Team Rocket’s floating away…
As Team Rocket’s balloon floats away with them on board, it releases the missile from the mechanical arm.
Officer Jenny: And now to get our rocket back on course…
Officer Jenny reaches down and picks up the controls for the missile, having the missile start to make a loop over the water with the intention of sending it off into the forest. However, midway over the water, the missile suddenly runs out of fuel and plummets towards the water. QST.camera split-screens as everyone gasps.
Narrator: And of course, this destroyed the bay, driving the Gulpin into the sewer where…
Refresh(THIS)
Yami Benjy: DO YOU HEAR ME NURSE JOY?! DON’T FLUSH THE P–
As Yami Benjy dashes over to the alarm, a small earthquake knocks him off his feet, to the point where Yami Benjy goes crashing onto all fours.
Yami Benjy: She did it, didn’t she…
Benjy: She did…
}
Suddenly something strikes the window with a crash, breaking through it. Yami Benjy creates a small shield to protect himself from the glass as he gets to his feet, looking around for what came through the window. Half a second later Yami Benjy sees the Gulpin that crashed through the window, now dead. Shuddering, Yami Benjy now returns down the stairs.
New Scene()
Downstairs, Yami Benjy rushes towards Nurse Joy’s post.
Yami Benjy: Nurse Joy! We just–ah!
Yami Benjy pauses as it quickly becomes apparent that Nurse Joy is no longer conscious, seemingly having bonked her head on her terminal.
Yami Benjy: Ash!
Ash: I’m here!
Yami Benjy looks quickly between Ash and Nurse Joy.
Yami Benjy: Ash! I need you to get Brock! I’ll keep an eye on…
Ash looks over Nurse Joy, concerned.
Ash: Brock? Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Yami Benjy: …
Ash: What happened anyway?
The Millennium Gameboy Advance pulses with light.
Benjy: That second flush put too much pressure in the sewer. It ruptured, spewing it’s contents all over the city.
Ash: So the Gulpin are scattered all over the city again?!
Benjy: Some of them. It’s highly unlikely that many survived. I’m partly surprised the building did…
Refresh Scene()
Ash and Benjy have Nurse Joy situated on the ground, lying down with her hands at her sides. While Ash and Treecko watch Nurse Joy, Benjy sends Satolite to go fetch the others, including Officer Jenny. Satolite beeps in response and leaves the building though a hole in the window which appeared as a result of the earthquake.
Ash: You think you could have Celebi bring us back to right before Nurse Joy was going to make that second flush?
Benjy: I don’t think she’d listen… We’d probably just sound silly…
Ash: You’ve got a point there. But then what should we do until Satolite gets back?
Benjy: Hmm…
Benjy strokes his chin, thoughtfully.
Benjy: Hold that thought. Someone’s coming.
Ash turns to look out one of the shattered windows, and sees a single headlight in the distance drawing closer. Soon, the motorcycle that it belongs to comes to a stop outside and a few seconds later, there is a knocking at the door. Ash runs to open it.
Ash: Officer Jenny!
As Ash opens the door, he is surprised to see a man standing behind it.
Ash: Uh…
Deputy Matt: It’s Deputy Matt Newell; do you kids have any idea of what just happened?
Ash: Nurse Joy attempted to flush the sewer, and…
Deputy Matt: But that’s just standard procedure…
Benjy: Ash, let me explain.
<Diagram>
</Diagram>
Benjy: You see, after Professor Piper lured the Gulpin into the sea with the nasty pokéblock of his, the Gulpin came right back to the city by means of the sewer system. There were so many Gulpin in fact, that it blocked up the sewer.
Deputy Matt: I suppose that’s probable, but…
Benjy: With the sewer blocked, Nurse Joy decided to flush it. Flushing it means pumping water through it. But in this case, the water couldn’t go through due to the fact the sewer was completely blocked with Gulpin, so nothing could come out.
Deputy Matt: But flushing pushes it out…
Benjy: Yes, but it didn’t come out the way you expected. The clog was so thick that… Let me put it this way: air is a gas. By pumping more and more water into the pipe, you unintentionally pressurized the air to the point where it was ready to burst. While this was supposed to push the Gulpin out, there were so many of them that they got wedged in the pipe, causing the air pressure to build to the point where it burst through the pipe, in that earthquake we had a few minutes ago.
Deputy Matt: But why the pipe and not the jam?!
Benjy: When something is moving from a high pressure to a low pressure, it takes the path of least resistance.
Ash: But then how does that explain the Gulpin that came raining down?
Benjy: The pipe burst very close to the jam, I believe. Due to pressure differences in the pipe and in the outside air, a vacuum of sorts was created. Nature abhors a vacuum, and so stuff came spewing out violently to fill it.
Narrator: And that is our chemistry slash physics lesson for today.
Deputy Matt: So that’s why there’s a huge geyser in the middle of fourth street…
Benjy: That geyser is sewer water, and possibly liquified Gulpin guts…
Ash: Eww…
New Scene(@Temporal = Late_Evening)
Ash and Benjy run towards an intersection lit by flashlights from Brock, May, Max, and Officer Jenny. Between them, a two-foot-high geyser shoots out from the middle of the street.
Ash: May! Max! Brock!
{May, Max, Brock}: Ash!
Benjy: Eh…
Benjy eyes the sewer water in disgust. Feeling a slight breeze, Benjy looks up to see Satolite preparing to land on his head. Benjy quickly looks down again, as he notices that he is standing in sewer water, and quickly moves to get out of it, but carefully to avoid splashing.
May: You okay? We we’re all worried, there was the earthquake and…
Ash: We’re fine. Benjy discovered that that was just the sewer rupturing.
Brock: What about Nurse Joy?!
Benjy: Deputy Matt is seeing to her. She hit her head on her terminal.
Brock: What!?
Without hesitation Brock leaps up and runs across the flooded street in the direction of the utility facility, when suddenly the ground shakes slightly, causing Brock to slip on the already wet ground. With a splash, Brock falls on his buttocks in the sewer water.
May: What was that?!
Benjy: I don’t know. I don’t think Deputy Matt is dumb enough to flush it again…
Officer Jenny: Hey! Don’t insult the intelligence of civil servants!
Max: He said that doesn’t–
Officer Jenny: Don’t you either!
Max: Talk about ironic…
Brock pulls himself to his feet as Officer Jenny’s phone beeps, she quickly answers it as Ash, May, and Max crowd around her. Treecko and Pikachu are riding on Ash’s shoulders.
Officer Jenny: Roxanne?
Roxanne: Officer Jenny! Something’s going on in the harbor!
May: What’s going on in the–
Officer Jenny: Ssh. What’s going on in the harbor?
Roxanne: It looks as if a…
Phone: Bzzt…
Brock: Whatever it is, it looks like it took out the phone tower
The ground shakes again, cutting Brock off. Officer Jenny starts to run towards her motorcycle, but the next shock knocks it over.
Officer Jenny: Kids, stay here. I’m going to go…
Officer Jenny trails off, something having caught her attention. Ash asks her what’s wrong, but Officer Jenny doesn’t reply, but just keeps staring. QST.camera now focuses on what Officer Jenny is staring at; the top of a yellow leaf can be seen behind a building. A couple seconds later, QST.camera reverts back to Ash and company who are watching the yellow leaf also.
Max: What is that?
Ash begins to search for his Pokédex.
Benjy: I’m not sure, but it looks like–
Ash’s Pokédex: Gulpin, the stomach pokémon. Gulpi–
Ash closes his pokédex abruptly.
Ash: Uh, Benjy?
Benjy: Could that be the Gulpin that managed to eat that nasty pokéblock…?
Officer Jenny: I don’t have time for guesses, Eisenstein!
The ground shakes again.
Brock: I’m going to go with, "yes."
Officer Jenny: Erk…
QST.Lyrical::startCustomMusic(using template$C01) {
iSystem.use("Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Parody") = background music: "linear." {
Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Parody (A parody of The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon)
➜ Old Gulzilla was oozing around Rustboro City like a big playground;
➜ When suddenly Team Rocket fell from the sky, hitting Gulzilla smack in it’s right eye;
As the song narrates, Team Rocket falls from the sky, landing on the giant Gulpin’s right eye. This makes it visibly irked.
➜ Gulzilla got miffed and began an attack, and Officer Jenny yelled to "Get back;"
➜ And proceeded to pull out a cannon; then two, then blasted Gulzilla with some exploding goo;
The giant Gulpin tries to shake off Team Rocket, who are holding on for dear life. This causes the Gulpin to crash into buildings left and right. Officer Jenny yells to Ash and company to "get back" (which overrides the words "get back" in the song) and Ash and company retreat several steps, with Brock noticeably reluctant to abandon Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny pulls out a pair of cannons, and fires both at the giant Gulpin–this does very little damage, although it’s not clear if this is actually ‘exploding goo.’
➜ It was the ultimate showdown of ultimate parody!
➜ Good guys, bad guys, and monsters, as far as the eye can see;
➜ As how it will end, well, just wait and you’ll see…
➜ ‘cause it’s the ultimate showdown of ultimate parody!
}
Officer Jenny curses unintelligibly under her breath.
May: What is that stuff?
???: It’s basically pepper spray made for Pokémon.
The voice came from the group’s left side (i.e.: south) and everyone turns in that direction.
Ash: Roxanne!
Roxanne smiles slightly at seeing Ash and company, but she still looks very disheveled.
Officer Jenny: Back! Back!
Officer Jenny fires more blasts at the Gulpin.
May: I don’t think that’s doing anything…
Officer Jenny: Quiet!
Roxanne: It’s doing something alright. You’re making him mad…
Suddenly, the giant Gulpin gives a jerk of it’s head and Team Rocket flies off into a building. Now turning it’s attention to Officer Jenny, the giant Gulpin fires a giant sludge bomb straight at everyone. Ash and company, along with Roxanne and two other trainers start to run. Due to looking back over their shoulders, Ash and Max both trip and go sprawling. Benjy also starts to trip but catches himself as the gigantic sludge bomb approaches.
As Benjy looks up, the Millennium Gameboy Advance emits a massive flash of light. Instantly a golden barrier appears between everyone and the sludge bomb, which explodes harmlessly on the barrier. Officer Jenny, now takes a deep breath, and charges up her cannon again. The giant Gulpin now prepares another sludge bomb.
Ash: Officer Jenny–wait!
Officer Jenny: No waiting!
Officer Jenny fires her weapon, ignoring the fact there is now an energy barrier between them and Gulpin. The barrier prevents the shot from reaching Gulpin, but breaks the barrier, leaving everyone open to another attack. Worse, it spews pokémon pepper spray all over everyone, and even worse, weakens Yami Benjy substantially, to the point where he is on his knees, panting.
Yami Benjy stares at the giant Gulpin as it prepares to attack once again.
Yami Benjy: …
May: Incoming!
Temporarily blinded by the pokémon pepper spray, everyone moves to shield themselves the best that they can, as the sludge starts to rain down on them.
Cutscene() {
In Max’s backpack, Jirachi smells the pokémon pepper spray and coughs and shivers. }
Before anything more than a few drops of sludge can rain down on them, Max’s backpack pulses with light and Jirachi explodes out of it, quickly teleporting everyone away (except for Officer Jenny). The sludge bomb smashes into the sidewalk, breaking shop windows and knocking Officer Jenny over, to where she hits her head on the ground. She doesn’t move, but sparks with static electricity, covered in sludge.
New Scene()
Ash and company, along with Roxanne and her two trainers teleport behind a building about a half-mile from the giant Gulpin. Roxanne looks around wildly.
Roxanne: What was that?!
Jirachi: Jirachi!
Roxanne now spies Jirachi floating above Max’s head, and stares at it in disbelief. Nearly simultaneously, Ash and company emit sighs of relief. Brock then suddenly notices that Officer Jenny is not with them, and moves to scold Jirachi angrily:
Brock: Jirachi! How could you forget to teleport Officer Jenny!
Jirachi folds it’s arms in front of it.
Jirachi: Jirachi teleported everyone!
Brock: Then where is Officer Jenny?!
Jirachi: Who?
Brock: Argh–
Brock’s cry of agony is quickly silenced by Roxanne, who puts her hand in front of Brock’s mouth.
Roxanne: Don’t worry about Officer Jenny–
Cutscene(Brock’s Imagination) {
On a flowery backdrop:
Roxanne: –Worry about me instead…
}
Roxanne: –She’ll be fine… Wait–
Roxanne pulls her hand away from Brock’s mouth.
Roxanne: –Are you drooling?!
Roxanne quickly pulls out a handkerchief and some hand sanitizer.
Roxanne: I suppose that if we weren’t in mortal danger, I should be flattered…
Max: No, Brock does that to every girl.
Roxanne: Way to kill a girl’s dreams. (Joke)
The fact Roxanne is smiling this when she says this last line makes it clear that she is not serious. As she looks at Ash’s confused expression, she quickly adds:
Roxanne: That was a joke, by the way.
Yami Benjy: But first order of business, that giant Gulpin…
Roxanne: Since Officer Jenny bot blasted it, it’s probably quite pissed off.
May: Think we should wait for it to calm down?
Immediately after May says this, the giant Gulpin shoots a sludge bomb at a large building, destroying it.
Ash: I think it will level the town first…
Roxanne: Probably. Anyone want to try catching it? It’s still a pokémon after all.
Yami Benjy: Quick question, do you think it’s size just increased, or do you think it’s power increased as well?
Roxanne: I don’t know.
Roxanne now pulls out a poké ball.
Roxanne: But I think we’re about to find out!
May: You’re going to try catching it now?!
Roxanne: Going to weaken it first, silly. Lan, Mayl–
The two other trainers nod and pull out poké balls. Ash and company (except Max) do as well.
Yami Benjy: Let’s go–
Yami Benjy is cut off as Gulpin sludge bombs another building (a shop). The attack blows out all of the windows barely leaving the frame of the building in tact.
Yami Benjy: Let’s go!
Ash: Right!
Refresh Scene(@Start(Trigamon Battle Music))
From where Ash and company are watching, specs of light zoom at the giant Gulpin. As these get closer to Gulpin, they are revealed to be {
• Ash’s Corphish riding Benjy’s Satolite
• May’s Beautifly being circled by a Starkle
• Ash’s Treecko riding Roxanne’s Archeops
• Ash’s Pikachu riding a Porygon2
}
Pikachu riding Porygon2 prompts a comment from the narrator:
Narrator: Uh-oh. I see where this is going.
As the pokémon (and Trigamon) zoom at the giant Gulpin, QST.camera switches to where Max is running with Jirachi.
Jirachi: What did Benjy say again?
Max: That we need to get to the highest point, so your doom desire will be the most powerful.
Jirachi looks over at the giant Gulpin.
Jirachi: They’re starting!
Max: Then we need to get to the highest point! Jirachi, quickly!
Jirachi: Okay!
QST.camera now angles up as the giant Gulpin prepares to attack another building. Soaring through the sky above it, Satolite prepares a lunarbeam. In an attempt to delay the giant Gulpin, Corphish fires bubbles at it, but this doesn’t even get the giant Gulpin’s attention. A couple seconds later Satolite uses lunarbeam, but again, the giant Gulpin doesn’t notice.
This attack is followed up by the second to reach the giant Gulpin, Archeops and Treecko. Treecko’s bullet seed also has no visible effect, and it starts to wear itself out as it attacks, and the giant Gulpin angrily destroys another building, before jumping up so abruptly and body slamming someone’s house. The giant Gulpin nearly crashes into both Satolite and Archeops, but barely misses Archeops whereas Satolite is able to zip out of the way. The giant Gulpin now body-slams one of the neighboring houses; the shockwaves generated from this attack cause yet other houses to collapse. Seeing another building ahead of it, the giant Gulpin starts to prepare to attack.
In a split-second, Satolite, Treecko, Corphish, and Archeops all fire attacks at the giant Gulpin, but it doesn’t seem to notice. After another couple seconds, Pikachu and Porygon2 join in, along with May’s Beautifly. All seven attacks finally get Gulpin’s attention, as seen when it’s leaf twitches. Still, this doesn’t stop Gulpin from destroying the building.
After destroying this building, Gulpin starts looking around for where the attacks are coming from; a process which involves turning around nearly 180º (though it’s more like 165º to 170º) so Gulpin is now facing towards the water. Gulpin now opens it’s mouth and start’s inhaling.
QST.camera quickly shifts over to Ash and company who are watching this happen.
May: What’s it doing?! (horrified)
Roxanne: It’s Gulpin’s stockpile. After this, it will either spit up or swallow.
The group looks over by Gulpin where the pokémon and Trigamon are trying hard not to get sucked it. Ash and May both gasp as Beautifly struggles to escape.
May: Ah!
Mayl: Starkle, use luster force!
Starkle glows, and Beautifly glows, then suddenly shoots out of Gulpin’s range. Gulpin’s stockpile now ends, allowing Satolite, Archeops, and Porygon2, all of which are now exhausted from resisting, to escape.
New Scene()
Max and Jirachi are rushing through Rustboro.
Max: So it looks like the Devon building is the highest point.
Jirachi: Jira!
New Scene()
Max and Jirachi, (with Max partially out of breath), arrive at the Devon building. And Max quickly runs up and knocks on the door.
Max: Hello?! Anyone there?!
Max continues to knock, but there is no reply.
Jirachi: Anyone home?
Max: It’s not a home Jirachi, it’s an office building…
Jirachi: Anyone office?
Max continues to knock.
Max: Please let me in. It’s an emergency!!
Max: Please let us in…
???: Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!
Max stares at the door confused.
Narrator: Good thing Jirachi can teleport, right?
Max: Then we’ll just have to blast the door in…
Jirachi: Jira!
Narrator: I forgot… These guys can’t hear me…
New Scene()
QST.camera views the inside of the door from the Devon lobby. Here, a middle-aged man with pointy hair stares at the door, looking very pleased with his response to the request for entry. Suddenly the door begins to bulge inwards, then violently explodes, spewing shrapnel all over the rest of the lobby. The pointy-haired man is hit in the face with flying debris, and goes down. Jirachi and Max survey the lobby looking for stairs, then dart into the building, across the fallen man who groans under Max’s weight.
Max: Come on Jirachi!
Jirachi: Jira!
New Scene()
QST.camera follows Max up a couple flights of stairs to where he winds up on a floor high enough of Devon overlooking the city. Max and Jirachi stare out watching the other pokémon and trigamon battle the giant Gulpin. QST.camera now zooms out to where the fighting is going on. Satolite, Treecko, Corphish, Pikachu, Beautifly, and Porygon2 are all barraging the Gulpin with attacks, but they don’t seem to be doing much.
Max.voiceover: Wow, it’s really tough…
Jirachi: ?
New Scene()
Back with Ash and company, Benjy has called on Bayleef.
Yami Benjy: Bayleef, use leech–
Roxanne: WAIT!
Yami Benjy: Uh–
Roxanne: Gulpin could have liquid ooze! That much ooze could kill your Bayleef!
Benjy gulps.
Yami Benjy: Can’t seed it, can’t poison it… Our normal attacks aren’t doing anything, so we are going to have to burn it.
Ash: What do you mean, burn it?
Yami Benjy: Does your Torkoal know will-o-wisp?
Ash: I’m not sure… Let me ask…
May: I don’t think Torkoal can learn will-o-wisp…
Ash: Let’s see–Torkoal, I choose you!
Ash tosses Torkoal’s poké ball and Torkoal emerges.
Ash: Torkoal, can you use will-o-wisp?
Torkoal: Torkoal?
Lan: I’ll take that as a ‘no’
Torkoal now begins to cry.
Yami Benjy: Now’s not the time to cry. Just use fire attacks on that Gulpin and hope for the best!
Yami Benjy looks to Ash and Torkoal whom both nod. QST.camera zooms out to the Gulpin where both Pikachu and Porygon2 use thunderbolt attacks, though both are starting to tire. Suddenly Porygon2 dodges upwards to avoid a flurry of burning leaves that crash into Gulpin. QST.camera now zooms back to Ash and company, where it is revealed that Ash and Yami Benjy have combined Bayleef’s and Torkoal’s attacks to create a stream of burning leaves. (Torkoal sets Bayleef’s leaves alight with it’s fire)
Roxanne: It’s genius. Bayleef’s razor leaf wouldn’t do much, and Torkoal’s fire attacks could never reach. But together, they…
May: Torchic! Let’s help them too!
May calls on Torchic to help Torkoal. Torchic and Torkoal now alternate lighting the leaves which slam into Gulpin.
Yami Benjy: Max, we’re all counting on you.
New Scene()
The barrage of burning leaves on Gulpin has allowed the Pokémon and Trigamon tasked with keeping it’s destruction in check to have a much needed time to regroup and refocus their efforts. But at the same time, the giant Gulpin’s attention is now turned to Ash and company. It turns towards them, then launches a massive sludge bomb in their direction.
May: GAAK!
Lan: It’s after us!
Yami Benjy: Satolite, now!
With unimaginable speed, Satolite flies between the sludge and Ash and company, using mirror force to send the sludge right back at Gulpin. The sludge strikes Gulpin hard, finally doing some real damage.
Ash: It’s already noticed us, so there’s no point in holding back anymore, poké ball go!
Ash hurls a poké ball at the giant Gulpin. The poké ball makes contact, but nothing happens.
Ash: What?!
Roxanne: That’s not going to do it. Please, allow me if we’re going to have any chance of catching this thing…
May: What are you going to do?
Lan: She’s got a special poké ball.
Roxanne: Actually, it’s just a standard ultra ball, but it’s the best we’ve got.
With this, Roxanne pulls an ultra ball out of her bag and hurls it at the giant Gulpin. At first it looks like it is going to work as the giant Gulpin glows for a second, but the glow fades quickly without the Gulpin disappearing inside the ball. Save for Yami Benjy, everyone stares speechless.
Yami Benjy: Max, you’re our only hope.
Lan: Has that thing gained godhood or something?!
Brock: You know, it wouldn’t surprise me.
Ash: Brock?! You feeling better?
Brock nods.
Yami Benjy: Everyone! Looks like we’re just going to have to weaken it further!
Around Yami Benjy, the group nods. Brock calls on Forretress and Ash calls on Taillow.
Yami Benjy: Lets go!
The group responds with a chorus of agreement.
New Scene()
The giant Gulpin comes crashing through Rustboro City towards Ash and company. Team Rocket, still groggy from their crash landing, slowly come to their senses in a ruined building and look around wildly for the source of the crashing noise.
New Scene()
Max and Jirachi race up the stairs in Devon towards the roof. After a couple of staircases, they push through a pair of metal doors marked, "no entry" and emerge onto the roof of Devon.
Max: Jirachi! Do you remember what Benjy asked us to do?!
Jirachi responds that it does not.
Max: Do we go back and ask him or do we–
As Max wonders about what to do, he notices that the giant Gulpin is now firing sludge bomb after sludge bomb at a golden barrier.
Max: Jirachi! That must be them! Jir–Ahh!
Max looses his footing and almost falls off the roof, but is caught by Jirachi’s telekinesis, and placed back on the roof. Max thanks Jirachi as he catches his breath. From a location further back on the roof, Max stares down at the golden barrier.
Cutscene { Inside the barrier, Yami Benjy, Celebi, Bayleef, and Porygon2 struggle to sustain it. }
Max: Ah… Jirachi! What do we–
Jirachi: Jirachi will save them.
Max: Max looks around for Jirachi and Almost falls off the roof again when he sees Jirachi floating with it’s face upwards serenely in the middle of the roof.
Max: Jirachi…?
Jirachi: Jirachi will save them.
Jirachi now begins to glow as Max approaches it.
Max: Jirachi… What’s going on?!?!
Max nervously watches Jirachi glow in the middle of Devon corporation’s roof. As Max approaches Jirachi, Jirachi suddenly opens an eye in the center of it’s chest.
Max: Uwahh…
New Scene()
On the ground, Ash and company are still trying desperately to fight the giant Gulpin. The golden barrier succeeds in blocking a sludge bomb, but is taken down by it. Yami Benjy collapses to one knee as he and the pokémon work to get it back up.
Mayl: Starkle, assistance!
The giant Gulpin fires another sludge bomb at Ash and company. As Starkle flies around Yami Benjy, he appears to gain enough energy and the barrier re-appears to block the sludge bomb attack. When the sludge bomb strikes the barrier this time it flickers and almost goes down, but they manage to keep it holding strong.
May: Where’s Max?!
Yami Benjy: Don’t think about him now, just focus on the task at hand.
May: …
Roxanne: A watched pot never boils. Just focus on weakening this Gulpin and they’ll help when they can.
Ash announces that he’s going to throw another poké ball, and Roxanne tells him to go ahead. Ash steps out of the barrier to throw his poké ball, and this time, the poké ball starts to activate for a split second before stopping.
Revert Scene()
Jirachi is now drawing energy into the eye in the center of it’s chest (via a beam coming straight down from the sky), as Max stands back wondering what’s going on. As this goes on, the door to the roof opens and Max suddenly turns.
Max: Anyone there?
No one replies, prompting Max to go over to where the door is and look down the stairwell.
Max: Anyone there?!
Max pauses.
Max: Maybe I forgot to close it…
?: Halt!
Max: Uh–
?: You are not authorized to utilize the roof!
Max looks around wildly, but doesn’t see where the sound is coming from.
Max: Maybe it’s just an automated–
?: I’m not automated!
Max now happens to glance over to the edge of the roof where a man in a red costume is climbing up the outside of the building.
?: I repeat! You are not authorized to utilize the roof!
Max almost screams but backs up towards Jirachi instead. Looking to it for help, but Jirachi is busy charging it’s third eye. The man now finishes climbing onto the roof, and Max notices that he is carrying a gigantic spoon.
Max: W-who are you…?!
The man plants the end of his spoon on the roof.
?: I am Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light! For unauthorized use of the roof, I will darn the both of you to heck!
Max: But this is the highest point! We need to use it so Jirachi can…
Phil: I am Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light! No excuses! I punish all minor sins!
Max: But we need to–
Phil: You shall now both be darned to heck!
Max turns towards Jirachi.
Max: Jirachi…
Phil: Are you ready for your punishment?
Max: …I must protect Jirachi…
Phil: What was that?
Max: I said, "I will protect my friend!"
Phil: Both of you transgressed against corporate policy, thus, both of you must be darned to Heck. I cannot substitute–
Max: You can try, but you won’t succeed.
Phil: You’re a petty pokémon trainer. What are you going to do about…these…
Phil pulls out a deck of cards and slowly feeds them into his spoon, chuckling.
Max: I’ll take you down!
Phil gulps as Max pulls a duel disk out of his backpack, and points it at Phil.
Max: Right back at ya’.
Phil: Did not see this coming… But resistance is futile! You will be darned to Heck!
Max: We’ll see about that!
Max, Phil: Duel!
< Phil’s Turn (1) [8000LP] [5H] >
< Draw Phase > *Draws x1* < /Draw Phase >
< Standby Phase > < /Standby Phase >
< Main Phase 1 >
/# Phil: I activate Hand Destruction!
• Hand Destruction() { Discards x2, Draws x2; Max discards x2, Max draws x2 }
/# Phil: When my Wu-Lord is sent to the graveyard, he special summons himself!
• Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World() { Special Summon: THIS }
• Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World() { Special Summon: THIS }
/# Phil: Now child, behold the beginning! Again, I activate Hand Destruction!
• Overlay( "Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World" x2 ) → Xyz Summon: Tyras, Keeper of Genesis
• Hand Destruction() { Discards x2, Draws x2; Max discards x2, Max draws x2 }
• Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World() { Special Summon: THIS }
• Latinum, Exarch of Dark World() { Special Summon: THIS }
/# Phil: When my Latinum is sent to the graveyard, he also special summons himself… And now for an adjustment…
• Star Changer() { Latinum, Exarch of Dark World.Level -= 1 }
/# Phil: Now child, behold the end!
• Overlay( "Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World" , " Latinum, Exarch of Dark World" ) → Xyz Summon: Ardeus, Keeper of Armegedon.
• Sets 2 cards
< /Main Phase 1 >
< End Phase >
• Tyras, Keeper of Genesis() { Looses an overlay unit }
< /End Phase >
< /Phil’s Turn [8000LP] [1H] >
Max: Woah…
Phil: Yes, mortal. Gaze upon my holographic images of frightening monsters and despair!
Max: Some showoff. But something his ego must’ve come from somewhere, so he can’t suck *that* bad… I wonder if he knew that he set up the graveyard for me.
< Max’s Turn (2) [8000LP] [5H] >
< Draw Phase > *Draws x1* < /Draw Phase >
< Standby Phase > < /Standby Phase >
< Main Phase 1 >
/# Max: I’ll start with a Mystical Space Typhoon!
• Mystical Space Typhoon() { Phil’s Dark Illusion is destroyed }
/# Max: I summon Dragunity Legionaire! And by his effect I can equip him with Dragunity Aklys!
• Summon: Dragunity Legionaire() { Equips with Dragunity Aklys }
/# Max: I activate the other effect of Legionaire: by sending Aklys back to the graveyard I can destroy one monster on the field! I’m targeting your Tyras.
• Summon: Dragunity Legionaire() { Equipped Dragunity Aklys → Graveyard}
/# Phil: Nice try, but as long as he has overlay unitys, Tyras can’t be destroyed by effects.
/# Max: Wait, what?
/# Phil: My monsters are INVINCIBLE!
/# Max: I play the effect of Dragunity Aklys! When he’s sent to the graveyard, I can destroy 1 card on the field.
/# Phil: And you target Tyras again, I presume?
• Dragunity Aklys() …
/# Max: No, I target Ardeus!
/# Phil: Then I play dark Illusion!
• Phil.Activate Dark Ilusion() { Negate Dragunity Aklys() }
/# Max: Ungh…
/# Phil: I’ll let you in on a little secret: doing the same thing receptively and expecting a different result is the very definition of insanity.
/# Max: But he’s all out of Dark Illusions… Though now it won’t matter anyway.
• Sets 4 cards
/# Max: I set four cards and end my turn.
< /Main Phase 1 >
< Battle Phase > < /Battle Phase >
< Main Phase 2 > < /Main Phase 2 >
< End Phase > < /End Phase >
< /Max’s Turn [8000LP] [1H] >
New Scene()
The giant Gulpin lurches to where Ash and company are stationed.
May: It’s coming this way!
Brock: And right on schedule.
Ash: Huh?
Brock: That was sarcasm, Ash! Everyone’s all but worn themselves out!
As Brock says this, the Millennium Gameboy Advance emits a bolt of light signaling the switching of Benjy and Yami Benjy.
Roxanne: You okay?
Benjy: I’m fine; but the spirit is worn out.
Benjy takes a ball from his pocket and recalls Bayleef, who is too tired to keep flinging leaves at Gulpin. As this attack stops, Gulpin suddenly sparks with electricity.
May: Hey, Pikachu must’ve–
Roxanne: That’s Gulpin’s shock wave!
In a split second, Gulpin fires a shock wave and Celebi responds by creating a shield. Before anyone else can react, the shield is shattered by the massive electric charge, which knocks everyone to the ground, though no one is badly injured.
Ash: It knows shock wave?!
Mayl grabs Ash’s arm, and begins to drag him as the group quickly evacuates the roof of the building. As they do, the Giant Gulpin lurches forwards again.
Descending from the roof, Ash and company run out of the building the back way just as Gulpin fires a sludge bomb into the front, demolishing all but the bare support structure of the storefront.
Ash and company yell to each other to hurry up as they run across the street and towards the back of another row of buildings.
Giant Gulpin: *gulp*
The giant Gulpin lurches forwards again as Ash and company make it behind the building, only to discover that a fence is stopping them from taking refuge behind it.
May: What do we do?!
Brock: Keep running!
Benjy: Satolite!
Roxanne: Do what he said! There’s no possible way we’re going to bring it down!
Benjy turns around and starts to run, making a hand gesture. All at once, Satolite crashes into the fence, knocking it down.
Benjy: This way!
Brock nods, and the group changes path to go into the machinery yard behind the building. Here, everyone gathers and begins to catch their breath. As they do, they see electricity arc and strike the street behind them.
Ash: Is everyone here?
Brock: I think so…
A quick glance around confirms that Beautifly, Satolite, and Porygon2 are all accounted for, but Archeops is nowhere to be found. Telling the others Roxanne turns on a flashlight and sweeps the machine yard to reveal that Archeops is lying on the ground, with Treecko sitting next to it, only slightly injured, stroking Archeops’s head.
Ash: Ah! What happened to Archeops?!
Roxanne: Nothing major. It’s Archeops’ defeatist ability.
Roxanne now starts walking towards Treecko and Archeops.
Roxanne: After loosing half it’s health, it simply gave up.
Revert Scene()
Phil: My turn! Draw!
< Phil’s Turn (3) [8000LP] [1H] >
< Draw Phase > *Draws x1* < /Draw Phase >
< Standby Phase > < /Standby Phase >
< Main Phase 1 >
/# Phil: I summon Broww, Huntsman of Dark World!
< /Main Phase 1 >
< Battle Phase >
/# Phil: An now my monsters, attack him directly! Wipe out his life points!
/# Max: I play my trap! Radiant Mirror Force!
/# Phil: ?
/# Max: Since you have three or more monsters in attack position, this card destroys all of them!
/# Phil: Are you forgetting something?
/# Max: I don’t think so…
/# Phil: You are! The Keeper of Genesis can’t be destroyed by card effects!
/# Max: That’s why I play this!
/# Phil: ?
/# Max: Light-Imprisoning Mirror! It negates the effects of light-attributed monsters, such as Tyras.
/# Phil: Except that doesn’t work on continuous effects.
/# Max: That’s why I play Time Drai–
<@End Duel::QST.Duels.No_Contest>
A massive shock wave coming from Jirachi knocks Max off his feet before he can say the "n" in "Time Drain." This massive shockwave comes with a burst of bright light that obscures Phil from Max’s vision temporarily. As the light clears, it becomes apparent that the duel has ended. Phil is left staring at Jirachi.
Phil: …uhh…
Max looks around confused at where the duel went. He then quickly gets up and runs over to Jirachi.
Max: Jirachi!
Jirachi rights itself and flies over to Max.
Jirachi: Ta-da.
Max turns to Phil.
Max: Hey! You in there?!
Phil: Umm…
Max: What are you doing standing there! We have a duel to finish!
Phil: Actually, I have to go change my pants…
Max: Hey–
Ignoring Max’s comment, Phil waddles over to the edge of the roof and hops off. Max walks over to where Phil went and looks down, but sees no sign of Phil. The wind whistles as it blows around him.
Max: Where did he go?
Jirachi: He said he had to change his pants. Jirachi doesn’t know why though.
Max backs up several paces from the roof’s edge.
New Scene()
A massive beam of light shoots into the sky above Rustboro, which Ash and company witness.
May: What’s that?
Roxanne: Could that be doom desire?
Celebi: Cele. Biii.
Celebi shivers at it holds onto Benjy’s shoulder. In the sky, the light makes a bright white flash.
Pikachu: Pika!
Ash: Ah!
Suddenly out the sky comes a giant stream of white light shooting down towards the city of Rustboro. Ash and company stare in awe as the beam shoots down straight for them. As the beam gets close, it becomes clear that the beam isn’t aimed at them, as it is aimed at the other side of the building.
New Scene()
The giant Gulpin nudges a destroyed building.
Giant Gulpin: Gulp?
The giant Gulpin then looks up and sees the stream of light, however it doesn’t have time to react before the light hits it, obscuring it from QST.camera’s view as the light cascades down around it.
Revert Scene()
Ash and company poke their heads out from behind the building to watch the light cover the Gulpin.
New Scene()
Ash and company, rush to the site of the crater where the giant Gulpin previously was. Also arriving on scene is Deputy Matt and Nurse Joy; Max and Jirachi are seen rushing to the scene. Professor Piper is also seen to be on his way, walking up from the direction of the police station puffing on his pipe.
Nurse Joy: Is everyone all right?
Brock: I am if you are–ow!
Ash has grabbed Brock’s ear, and begins dragging him away from the crater.
Brock: Hey!
Ash: There’s a time and a place for everything. Now is neither of those.
Roxanne: We’re shaken up, but nothing serious.
May: What happened to that Gulpin?
Benjy looks back and forth, scanning the area.
Benjy: It’s over there in the middle. It looks as if it’s been reverted back to normal.
Roxanne: I’d call it a miracle.
Celebi: Celebi.
Celebi flops down on Benjy’s shoulder, and he recalls it back into it’s ball.
May: So was that Jirachi’s doom desire?
As she says this, May turns to Max, who turns to Jirachi.
Jirachi: Jirachi not sure.
May: It doesn’t even know it’s own attacks?!
Roxanne: Hmm… It has been sleeping a thousand years, hasn’t it?
Benjy: If I had to guess, I’d say that doom desire is the name humans gave the move. Jirachi probably knows it as something else.
Max: Hey Jirachi, what do you call that attack?
Jirachi fails to reply, as it is now fast asleep.
New Scene(@Temporal = Mid-Morning)
Benjy and Ash are asleep on the bench in the pokémon center, while Nurse Joy examines May’s foot, where the strykewyrm bit into it.
May: …
Nurse Joy: It’s healing alright. You should try to avoid putting any weight on it for the next couple of days, though.
May nods nervously and turns towards the window where a large truck is washing the street. The truck starts to make a low rumbling as it does this, waking Benjy up. Benjy yawns, and then the Millennium Gameboy Advance pulses slightly with light, signaling Yami Benjy’s presence.
Max: You’re awake!
Max appears from behind QST.camera holding Jirachi in his arms. Yami Benjy stares at the truck at the side of the road making the horrible sound, and holds out his hand reducing the noise to almost nothing.
Nurse Joy: How did you do that?
Yami Benjy: I don’t know. I just can’t think with that din.
May: I know what you mean…
Yami Benjy: How are they with getting the harbor clean?
Nurse Joy: With a mess that toxic it’s not going to happen any time soon. Purifying that much water will take weeks to months.
Benjy: Still, I’m surprised how much toxic stuff was in that tiny cube.
Yami Benjy: Piper must have really packed it in there.
Benjy: But then again, if Brock can put an entire kitchen in that tiny backpack… Let me do the math.
While Yami Benjy, May, and Max continue to talk with Nurse Joy trying to figure out what they should do next, Benjy does the calculations. The items with their respective measurements appear in thought bubbles as Benjy thinks about them
Benjy: So lets say for the sake of argument that Brock’s cauldron is twenty-seven cubic feet.
Brock’s Cauldron is shown in Benjy’s thought bubble as being 3’ by 3’ by 3’ (yellow arrows) and then the equation 3 x 3 x 3 = 27 underneath it.
Benjy: …And his backpack is about half a cubic foot.
Brock’s backpack is shown in the same manner, with the product of the dimensions beneath it.
Benjy: Or maybe his caudron is only 2 feet tall… Whatever, I’ll be generous. Assuming that two feet has to shrink down to half a foot, because that’s the limiting factor, then everything is shrunk to a quarter of it’s size, for each dimension. Four times to the power of three dimensions is 64, so using this analogy, that pokéblock could only hold about 64 times as much yuck as a normal pokéblock–doesn’t seem right.
Benjy: If I’m not being generous, then… Still not enough… Just how big is Brock’s backpack anyway? Should I use Doctor Who’s T.A.R.D.I.S. as an example? Since he exists, it must, and it probably comes from this world since it works just like a poké ball…
Benjy: What’s the largest pokémon? Arceus? Groudon? How big are–
Benjy now happens to look up at a video monitor on the wall of the pokémon center, where two pundits are discussing the mess, and they are showing a picture of a Wailord behind them.
Benjy: Of course it’s Wailord, at what looks like 30, no, wait. It says 47.7–I’ll say 48 feet. In order to shove that into a 3 inch poké ball, you’re going to have to shrink that by– 48 times to get it down to one foot, and then another 4 times on top of that. 48 times four is 192, but for simplicity I’ll say 200.
Benjy: But that’s only one dimension. 200 cubed is 4 times 100 cubed, or 4 times ten thousand times 100, which becomes 4 million. That pokébock was about a cubic inch, that’s 4 million inches of sludge.
Benjy: 12 cubed equals 144 times 12, which is 1440 plus 288, so I’ll just say 1500 cubic inches to a cubic foot: that’s still over one thousand cubic feet of sludge…
Professor Oak now comes on the TV and Nurse Joy unmutes it.
Professor Oak: That pokéblock was probably dehydrated sludge, which is about ten times more toxic than standard sewage.
Anchor(female): But that means…
Anchor(male): And you said that there was like a thousand cubic feet in that thing?
Professor Oak: Based on the toxicity of the harbor, I would say that that is indeed likely–
Anchor(female): Hold on, let me do the math.
The female anchor counts on her fingers up to nine before loosing count. She then turns to her male colleague and says in a whisper:
Anchor(female): It’s over nine thousand.
Anchor(male): Over. Nine. Thousand.
With this, the male anchor passes out and the channel begins experiencing "technical difficulties."
Max: And where is Piper now?
Nurse Joy: He disappeared in the middle of the night last night…
Ash is now awake, having woken up while QST.camera was focused on other things.
Ash: And what happened to the other Gulpin?
Max: You mean the ones that weren’t sprayed all over the city?
May: I don’t care about them! I’m still hungry!
Nurse Joy turns towards Ash to address his question.
Nurse Joy: They seem to have left town. Deputy Matt thinks we scared them away. I’m still not convinced.
Max: May, I have a solution.
May: Huh?
Max: It goes like this.
May: I’m listening…
Max: It’s called: ♫great green gobs of greasy grimy Gulpin guts♫–
Ash: Sounds revolting (whisper to Benjy)
Max: ♫Mutilated Mantyke meat♫
Max: ♫Poisoned Wingull’s little feet–♫
May: Enough!!!
Max: ♫Great green gobs of greasy grimy Gulpin guts, and you forgot your spoon…♫
Ash: I’d rather starve, thanks…
May: That’s the alternative?!?!
May suddenly starts breathing heavily.
Ash: May, stop! You’re going to hyperventil–
With a clunk, May passes out and collapses on the floor with spirals on her eyes.
May: I… Need… Food…
Yami Benjy: Duly noted.
Nurse Joy: Well, it is a serious problem. I still think she should refrain from traveling for another day at least. So by tomorrow mid-afternoon, she should be fine.
Narrator: Meanwhile…
QST.NEW Tag: Obviously Fake British Accent → #FBA
New Scene()
Professor Piper is wandering though the forests outside of Rustboro, puffing on his pipe. His eyes are red and he is being followed by twenty-something Gulpin. As he wanders aimlessly through the forest, the bushes rustle and Brock emerges.
Brock: Professor Piper I presume?
Piper: Is someone there?
Brock: It’s me, Brock! One of the trainers you met yesterday.
Piper: Brock, look at that tree.
Brock: That tree? What about it?
Piper: You see, all the leaves, are green.
Brock: Uh, so?
Piper: So all the leaves on all the trees, are green, except for those blue trees, and all the leaves, on all those trees, are blue.
Brock: This guy is now starting to freak me out.
Brock: Look, professor, I need you to come back to Rustboro with me–
Piper: Come back?
Brock: Uh…
Piper: Where would we go back to?
Brock: Uh…
Piper: By the way do you have anything on you? <#FBA>I’ve been craving a wee nibble.<#FBA>
Brock: There’s food back in Rustboro, if you’ll come with me–
Piper thanks Brock, and allows Brock to now lead him back towards Rustboro. The Gulpin watch them go in confusion.
Gulpin1: Gulpin gul? (What food)
Gulpin2: Gul gul gulpin? (Didn’t we eat it all)
Gulpin3: Pin gul. (Doesn’t matter, I don’t want to hear that horrible noise again)
The other Gulpin seem to agree and keep moving away from Rustboro.
Revert Scene()
Everyone’s stomachs are growling as the group sits in the pokémon center.
Nurse Joy: A couple days without food won’t kill you guys.
Ash: So how long until we really starve to death?
Max: I’m not really comfortable about this…
Yami Benjy: We’ll last for a little over a fortnight.
Max: Why did the Gulpin have to eat everything…
Ash: Why is the sky blue?
Nurse Joy: Because of the way light refracts off of molecules in the upper atmosphere.
Ash: I know that. It was a rhetorical question.
Nurse Joy: Then it was a rhetorical answer.
Yami Benjy: You don’t know what that word means, do you?
Nurse Joy: I majored in chemistry, not linguistics.
At this moment, Roxanne appears at the door, looking a bit weary and out of sorts. The door opens and she enters.
Roxanne: Nurse Joy…
Nurse Joy looks up as Roxanne addresses her.
Roxanne: Brock found Piper wandering aimlessly in the forest. We’ve got him at the station where he won’t shut up about how hungry he is.
Nurse Joy: You mean the police station?
Roxanne nods.
Nurse Joy: Thanks for the update, Roxanne. Please feel free to get back to whatever you were doing.
Roxanne: Actually, that’s not why I’m here.
Ash: It’s not?
Roxanne: It’s come to my attention that you’re training a Jirachi, Max, despite being underaged. Please let me hold onto it until you’re older.
Ash, May, Max, and Yami Benjy stare at Roxanne with expressions of shock. Max backs away from Roxanne nervously.
…///To Be Continued//…
© March 27, 2014 to December 1, 2015 by Benjy Strauss