↳ Import QST.Lyrical
Ad Space: Up to three corporate logos
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New Scene(Previously_On_Trigamon) { … }
New Scene(@Temporal = Night)
Ash and company have set up camp for the night in a clearing in the forest. Benjy is sitting up against the trunk of a tree while everyone else is lying down in their sleeping bags. Benjy looks over Ash and company as they sleep.
Benjy: Today was weird.
Benjy lets out a long sigh.
Benjy: Then again, here I am with Ash and company. The sheer probability of landing in Slateport, and having them find me, is something I can’t begin to calculate, which at one point led me to think I was just in a coma of sorts.
Benjy looks up into the branches of the trees.
Benjy: However, I was awake during the whole thing. There are no holes that need to be filled, at least where it really matters, until I was in here, and got smacked by the ladder.
Benjy looks back down at Ash and company.
Benjy: And then, Ash and his friends aren’t anything like they are in the show. Coal wasn’t even featured. He’s vaguely resemblant to a character my brother created in…
Benjy hesitates.
Benjy: …What I for all practical purposes have to call a fan-fiction, although nothing else I’ve seen is even remotely similar to anything he wrote, thank goodness.
Coal turns over in his sleep and Benjy watches him.
Benjy: However, the differences are remarkable. My brother’s character had Huntail and Gorebyss, although Pichu, Swampert, and Glalie were seemingly spot-on, I can’t remember the sixth pokémon though… Maybe Lanturn? Still, the discrepancies aren’t ones I can just overlook. My brother’s character didn’t travel with Ash and company. And he didn’t use magic either. I can’t tell if it’s coincidence or not, and that’s going to bug me until morning. Just like back home, my body aches but I can’t sleep. It’s like I’m too tired to.
Benjy pulls a pen and paper out of his backpack and, upon clicking the pen begins to write, looking up at the sky, and then back at his work:
Background Music = new Music("Starry".Overlaid) {
Starry;
The sky is blue and black, and starry;
Some claim they’re looking out for me;
Short of two nonillion miles;
Long of two quintillion miles;
The numbers make me smile;
I left my parents waiting behind the sky for me a while;
Starry;
My puzzle’s broken and it’s starry;
They have no borders or boundaries;
They twinkle and they shine;
On the old forests of pine;
They’re the dividing line;
I’ve got a monster in my pocket and negative time to kill;
Hey sunshine;
I haven't seen you in a long time;
Why don't you come out from the world’s backside;
These stars hang in the sky;
Like the made up number, i;
And they explode when they die;
They don't know just what they’re doing, and I guess neither do I;
Starry; (x2)
}
Benjy: My parents are almost certainly worried sick right now, but there’s nothing I can do about that, so I’m not going to worry.
Narrator: Just to be clear, it’s two nonillion short scale, two quintillion long scale, right?
Benjy nods.
Benjy: I hate how they have two systems for naming numbers.
Benjy lets out a long sigh, and then looks around nervously.
Benjy: I wonder what time it is…
Benjy looks out through the forest, where he sees something move in the distance.
Benjy: And what is that? And how come we never get attacked by wild pokémon, while we sleep?
QST.camera moves away from Benjy, into the undergrowth, and moves across the forest for about 30 feet, approaching the location of the motion in the distance, although it appears empty. Then, suddenly, something appears in the trees, spinning towards the clearing. In a burst of movement, the something leaps out of the trees and into the clearing, where it is revealed to be a human girl, about 9 to 10 years old. This girl is wearing a frilly yellow outfit and carrying a yellow wand with a heart-shape attached to the end.
Narrator: Okay, now I’ve seen everything.
Suddenly, this girl’s phone rings, and she quickly pulls it out of her shirt pocket and puts it to her ear.
Girl_in_Yellow → Yuka: Magical Mushroom Girl sentry Yuka speaking…
*Pause*
Yuka: Oh! King Romeae (Rome-ee-ay)! What can I do for you?
*Pause*
Yuka: Oh uh-huh. I’ll be right there!
With this, Yuka hangs up her phone and darts off through the forest.
New Scene()
QST.camera looks down on Ash and company, as Benjy attaches a fairly detailed note to Coal’s sleeping bag with a safety-pin. Suddenly, Benjy’s eyes start glowing.
Benjy: Definitely going to need to check this out.
QST.camera moves through the forest again, this time in the opposite direction, to where a boy is running, with a Volbeat at his side. The boy nervously checks his watch, then stares at it and as a result almost trips over a root.
Boy: Oh zark–I’m late!
The boy gets to his feet and quickly rushes off through the forest.
Boy: I’m late! I’m late! Oh, I’m late! I’m late to a very important date!
#Alice_in_Wonderland_Reference
The boy hurries down the trail, and the image of his mother appears in his mind, which is displayed on QST.camera as a somewhat see-through image of his mother projected above his head.
Voice_of_Romeo’s_Mother: Romeo, I won’t let you go out with a Saradominist girl!
The boy runs right by Benjy, causing the Millennium Gameboy Advance to shine gently. Curious, Yami Benjy attempts to get the attention of the boy as he rushes by.
Yami Benjy: Erm, excuse me!
Boy: Can’t talk now! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!
Yami Benjy: Curiouser and curiouser…
Yami Benjy starts to run after the boy.
Yami Benjy: Excuse me–
Boy: I’m late! I’m late! I’m late! No time to cry! Hello! Goodbye! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!
Despite this, Yami Benjy continues running after the boy, nearly tripping on a hole in the ground.
Yami Benjy: You’re acting very suspicious…
QST.camera now shifts through the forest (very quickly) to where Yuka (the magical mushroom girl) is running through the woods, doing a few cartwheels in the grass. As she runs up the side of a hill, she does more cartwheels and finally flips over twice, landing next to another girl in a green frilly outfit. This girl is wearing a green and gold crown, which stands out against her bright blue hair. As Yuka lands, she bows down before the girl in green with her legs crossed.
Yuka: King Romeae, how may I be of service?
Romeae turns towards Yuka, and extends her wand (with a heart on the end, although larger than Yuka’s wand) over Yuka and taps Yuka gently on the head.
Romeae: Yuka. Stand up.
Yuka stands up, saluting Romeae.
Romeae: I have received news that Queen Juliana is actively searching for the star mushroom.
Yuka’s eyes widen and she puts her arm down at her side.
Yuka: What’s a star mushroom?
Romeae: I have no idea, but we can’t let her have it.
Yuka: And why is that?
Romeae: Because she might eat it.
Yuka: Ohh…
Romeae: And I want to eat that mushroom!
Romeae makes a fist.
Romeae: We will get it!
Yuka: Yes King Romeae!
Romeae: I’ve already sent the scouts searching for it. You have one job: distract Juliana. Got that?
Yuka: Yes King Romeae!
Romeae: Now listen closely. East-north-east of here you’ll find mushrooms with hearts on them. I need you to collect a basket full, but don’t eat any. If you do, you’ll fall head-over-heels for the first sentient life form you see!
Yuka: And what should I do with them?
Romeae: Somehow, you’re going to need to put one down Queen Juliana’s throat. And also feed one to this little girl here, she’s annoying me.
Romeae points down the hill (not in the direction that Yuka came). At the bottom of a steep descent a girl is walking in circles with an Illumise following her. This girl’s voice is softer, as she’s farther away.
Girl: Hmph. Romeo promised he’d be here. Well, where is he?
Illumise: Illu?
Girl: Yes, I know he’s running late.
Illumise: Lumi?
Girl: No, I’m not worried!
Illumise: Loo?
Girl: What?! It’s not like I like him or anything! Be quiet and keep watch, Illumise.
Illumise: Meesay…
Romeae: You got all that, Yuka?
Yuka nods her head, and Romeae hands her a basket.
Romeae: Now be off with you.
Yuka nods eagerly, then runs and skips down the hill.
Romeae: Good grief.
New Scene()
Yami Benjy is walking through the forest, having lost track of Romeo. Twigs crunch under Yami Benjy’s feet as he walks.
Yami Benjy: That was odd. I wonder what could possibly be up at this time of night.
Benjy: Shouldn’t you be more worried about finding our way back?
Yami Benjy: Don’t worry, I’m keeping careful track of where we came from. By the end of the night, I’ll know these woods like the back of my hand.
Yami Benjy stares down at the back of Benjy’s hand, and as he does takes a step forwards onto what he thinks is solid ground, when in fact, his foot gets caught in some kind of hole in the ground. Yami Benjy falls flat on his stomach; saved from hitting his face by the ground under where his face was headed being slightly lower than the ground under his stomach and chest. Yami Benjy quickly catches his breath, then starts to prop himself up on his elbows.
Footsteps in the forest cause Yami Benjy to look up, in their direction.
Yami Benjy: Someone else?
QST.camera synchronizes with Yami Benjy’s vision long enough for Yami Benjy to see Yuka’s shoe as she skips merrily along, then QST.camera de-synchronizes with Yami Benjy’s vision to show the rest of Yuka, skipping. Jumping over debris on the forest floor, Yuka leaps directly onto Yami Benjy’s backside, and then off again as Yami Benjy groans in pain, Yuka completely unaware of her actions.
Yuka then proceeds to skip off into the forest, while Yami Benjy gets to his hands and knees and stares after her.
Yami Benjy: Was that his date?!
Benjy: I sure hope not.
Yami Benjy: Why’s that?
Benjy: Well, for one, she’s going in the wrong direction…
New Scene()
Yuka skips down the forest trail waving her basket absentmindedly. As she does, she tosses it in the air over her head, then jumps up, doing a front-flip and catching her basket in her other hand before jumping forwards.
Yuka: Mushrooms! Mushrooms! Heart-shaped mushrooms!
Yuka jumps over a fallen log, swinging her basket.
Yuka’s_Memory::Romeae’s_Voice: I need you to collect a basket full, but don’t eat any. If you do, you’ll fall head-over-heels for the first sentient life form you see!
Yuka: I’m not sure what sentient life forms are, but I’d at least want to take one on a date before falling in love with it!
Yuka leaps over more things on the ground, including some sleeping wild pokémon, before leaping down a gradual embankment and landing in a clearing full of small patches of mushrooms (4 to 9 square feet each). One by one, Yuka inspects them, spending about one second on each.
The first patch of mushrooms has round dots, the second has triangles, the third has squares, and the next three all have logos of corporations sponsoring this episode. After this, Yuka spots the patch of heart-speckled mushrooms, a bit out of the way, and quickly picks enough to fill her basket. As Yuka leaves the patch, she picks a mushroom to eat (not a heart one), and starts to bite into it (in the cutest possible manner), when this mushroom suddenly wakes up:
Mushroom: FOONGUS!
Yuka stops biting into the mushroom as the mushroom (actually a Foongus) leaps out of her arms and runs off into the forest, leaving Yuka completely bewildered as to what just happened.
Yuka: I’ll just forget that happened. There. Everything’s better.
Yuka spins around a few times, before skipping off in the direction she came.
New Scene()
Yami Benjy returns to the camp to find that Ash and Coal are both awake, and appear to have read Yami Benjy’s note.
Coal: What’s up?
Yami Benjy: Sorry, I didn’t mean to–
Coal: It’s fine.
Coal scans over Yami Benjy’s note again.
Coal: Anything interesting?
Yami Benjy: There’s a boy with a Volbeat, and a girl who… Well, I only saw her foot.
Ash: That’s enough for some people.
Yami Benjy: I tripped over a rabbit hole and she ran right over me.
Ash and Pikachu look at Yami Benjy curiously as Yami Benjy sits down against the tree truck where he was sitting originally. Coal now gets up out of his sleeping bag and stands up and looks around.
Coal: This is… Worrisome…
Coal quickly scans the dark clearing.
Yami Benjy: Well I’m going to sleep. I can’t stay up any longer.
The Millennium Gameboy Advance shines gently as Yami Benjy sprawls out on the grass.
Coal: Okay.
Coal glances over at Ash and Pikachu
Coal: You, don’t hesitate to wake us up if you hear something out of the ordinary.
Ash: Wait, are you telling me to–
Coal: No, no. Talking to Pikachu. Their ears are more sensitive than ours. I hope I’m just being paranoid, but something could easily be rotten in these woods.
#Macbeth_Reference
Ash: Like Team Rocket?
Coal: Probably not. I think they do most of their scheming at night, which is why they only bother us in the daytime.
New Scene()
Romeae is standing on the hill waiting for Yuka. QST.camera zooms up into the tree above her where Team Rocket are watching her with binoculars.
James: I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so cutesy in my life…
Jessie: Meowth, hand me my barf bag.
Meowth hands Jessie a bag made of something indiscernible. This bag is of a dark yellow-green color, although this can be barely seen in the lack of light.
Meowth: I told you we should have stolen a Hitchhiker’s Guide.
James: But we’re not Hitchhikers!
Meowth: That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t steal one!
Jessie: Shush!
In the darkness, Yuka comes skipping out of the trees, swinging her basket of mushrooms.
Romeae: You got the mushrooms?
Yuka: M-hm!
Yuka nods, and simultaneously the sound of Jessie throwing up offscreen can be heard. Romeae now picks a mushroom out of Yuka’s basket, reminding Yuka of the rest of her mission. Yuka nods and happily skips off into the forest. Romeae turns back towards the girl in the clearing.
Romeae: Now to deal with miss annoying…
Romeae leaps down from the hill and lands behind the girl with her Illumise, extending her wand. Juliet turns around, and just as she is about to say something, Romeae knocks her out with a burst of light from her magic wand. Juliet falls to the ground, asleep, much to the horror of Illumise, whom Romeae is quick to comfort:
Romeae: Relax. She’s just asleep.
QST.camera shifts to Team Rocket in their tree.
Meowth: What’s she doing?
James: She’s pulling a Bill Cosby…
QST.camera now shifts back as Romeae makes the sleeping Juliet chew and swallow the mushroom. Romeae then picks up the sleeping Juliet and then taps her heels together. Suddenly and magically, fairy wings appear on Romeae’s slippers and she uses these to take flight, much to the shock of Team Rocket.
James: She can fly?!
New Scene()
Romeae is flying over the trees in a lying-down position carrying Juliet in her arms. Juliet’s Illumise flies after her.
Romeae: Now to find your lover.
Romeae continues flying over the trees for several seconds, searching the forest. It takes about ten seconds from Romeae’s comment for Romeae to find Romeo wandering the forest with his Volbeat at his side. As Romeae sees him, her magic wand starts to glow, and she switches to an upright position, staring down at Romeo.
Romeae: That’s your lover?!
Illumise: Illu-ME-say!
Romeae turns back to Illumise.
Romeae: She’s in love with a BOY?
Illumise nods, and Romeae stares at Juliet for a couple seconds.
Romeae: That’s disgusting!
Illumise: Illu-illu!
Romeae: Yeah, yeah, I’ll find her a proper lover.
With this Romeae flicks her shoes, and flies off leaving Illumise behind, who flies down to where Romeo and Volbeat are walking.
Refresh Scene()
With QST.camera at Romeo’s level, Illumise flies in a downwards spiral to where Romeo and Volbeat are located.
Illumise: Lulu! Illu-mee-mee-say!
Volbeat: Volbeat-vol?
Romeo: What’s wrong Volbeat? Did little Timmy fall down the rabbit hole again?
Both Illumise and Volbeat shake their heads.
Romeo: Then what could it be?
Both Volbeat and Illumise fly off in the direction that Romeae flew, causing Romeo to chase them.
New Scene()
Yuka walks down a forest trail, swinging her basket of mushrooms. As she walks into a clearing, she looks around curiously.
Yuka: I have to feed a mushroom to the queen. But the queen wants to eat a different mushroom. Therefore, I need to make my mushroom look like the one that the queen wants to eat. Oh! I know!
Yuka points her wand at a tree-branch, and instantly the branch explodes, transforming into a giant sketch-pad. Next, Yuka spins around in a circle, holding her wand in the air. This causes a Murkrow to fly straight at her. Without missing a beat, Yuka plucks a single quill from it, causing the Murkrow to squawk loudly and fly away. Yuka then points her wand at the ground, and with a pulse of light, the ground explodes producing a role of tape. Yuka now lays these three things on the ground and begins drawing stars on her sketch-pad with her Murkrow quill, then gently tearing out the stars and taping them to her mushrooms over the heart marks on them. Yuka works on her art project all-to-happily, humming as she does it.
New Scene()
Back where Ash and company are sleeping, May hears Yuka’s humming gently coming through the trees. May suddenly opens her eyes and looks around, almost as if in a trance.
May: Where’s that coming from?
May turns in her sleeping bag, then slowly begins to climb out of it looking around and listening for the sound.
May: That sounds like…
May has now stood up, and starts walking in the direction of the sound, without bothering to put on her shoes or bandana. As soon as May reaches the edge of the clearing she starts walking faster.
May: That sounds like Mom!
Suddenly, May breaks into a run, looking around desperately for the sound. QST.camera now shifts upwards and along the tops of the trees to where Romeae is flying, holding the sleeping Juliet. Romeae scans the forest through the tree tops as she flies in the general direction of May. After about two seconds (real time), Romeae hears the crunch of twigs, and her attention is quickly drawn to where May is running, listening for the sound of Yuka’s humming.
Romeae sees May wandering, and begins to zip around the treetops to cut May off. May darts into a tiny clearing and stops to listen for the sound, which is when Romeae decides to descend from the sky, landing in front of May, whom is suddenly speechless.
Romeae: This looks like a good match.
May: Uh… Are you…
Before May can finish her question, Romeae has Juliet float out of her arms to the ground, then jumps into the air, smiling at May, who is again speechless. Romeae points her wand at Juliet.
Romeae: Now wakey-wakey…
May jumps back as Juliet begins to stir and Romeae starts to fly away. May finally gets her composure back enough to call out:
May: WAIT!
But Romeae is already gone. May stares nervously at Juliet, who is waking up groggily. May takes a step backwards as Juliet looks at her, then suddenly becomes animated with pink hearts on her eyes. Suddenly Juliet launches herself at May, who is no longer thinking about the sound of Yuka’s humming. May leaps aside, and starts to run, but Juliet grabs her arm, much to May’s horror.
Juliet: You can’t escape from me!
May starts to reach for a poké ball. Juliet then winks at May.
Juliet: …darling.
May stops moving, confused and trying to process what’s going on. Juliet takes this opportunity to grab May’s other wrist in her other hand, and says something to May which is silenced to QST.camera. May appears frozen. QST.camera zooms out, and suddenly May screams about a second after the forest obscures her.
New Scene()
With her basket of modified magical mushrooms, Yuka skips down a forest trail and then up a tree trunk, completely oblivious to gravity. Yuka then walks onto a branch, picking a hanging vine and tying one end of it to a mushroom. QST.camera now zips down to the forest floor where another girl, roughly 14, walks through the forest wearing a purple frilly outfit. Like the other magical mushroom girls, she carries a want and like Romeae, she wears a crown, through which sticks a tiny tuft of hair. Unlike Romeae and Yuka, this girl’s outfit exposes her midriff. This girl sniffs the air repeatedly.
Girl: There’s something rotten in Hoenn.
#Macbeth_Reference
Girl: And where there’s rotten stuff, there’s mushrooms!
The girl sniffs the air again.
Girl: Which means there might be the mushroom I’m looking for!
The girl pulls out her purple magic wand and holds it in the air. As she waves her wand around, her wand glows when it’s pointing towards where Yuka is. The girl sniffs the air again, and begins walking in the direction that her glowing wand is pointing in. After several paces, this girl sees the mushroom that Yuka’s dangling on a vine, and the girl’s eyes light up.
Yuka now jiggles the vine, and the girl in purple’s tufts of hair bounce, while the girl in purple follows the bouncing mushroom with her eyes
Narrator: Please tell me that you aren’t dumb enough to actually fall for that…
Ignoring the narrator, the girl in purple examines the mushroom on the vine, and her eyes suddenly get stars on them upon seeing this mushroom. Very carefully, she picks the mushroom from the vine, then takes a large bite, and chews and swallows, all in the cutest way possible. As soon as she swallows, Yuka’s wand glows above her (only the tip of the wand is shown), and this girl in purple falls asleep, unable to take another bite of the mushroom.
New Scene()
Romeo walks through the forest, led by Volbeat and Illumise whom are both lighting his path, confused. Romeo steps over a fallen log, then suddenly May’s scream pierces the darkness, which causes Romeo to panic.
Romeo: Could that be Juliet?!
Romeo, Volbeat, and Illumise now all take off through the forest in the direction of the noise.
New Scene()
Juliet is lying on top of May on the ground in the forest (May is face-up, Juliet is facing her). Both girls are fully clothed, and May looks absolutely terrified while Juliet has kissy-lips.
{Note} Both May and Juliet should be clothed regardless of censors. {/Note}
May squirms, trying to escape from Juliet, however the latter is unwilling to let go. May now reaches for a poké ball, but Juliet grabs her arm to stop her. May does this with her other (left) arm, but Juliet grabs her arm to stop her again, using them to pull herself up along May, to where Juliet tries to kiss May repeatedly, but May moves her head out of the way each time.
May: I don’t know about this! I’m not really ready for–
Juliet: Stop squirming!
Voice from forest: Juliet! What are you doing?!
May: Help!
May now sees Romeo rush out of the forest. Volbeat and Illumise run by Romeo’s feet, over to May. As May is distracted by Romeo’s presence, Juliet seizes this opportunity to go in for a kiss on May’s ear, but suddenly Volbeat launches itself in the way, blocking Juliet’s lips by pushing on the side of her head.
Romeo: Juliet! Get off of her!
Juliet: N-No! She’s my precious!
#Lord_of_the_Rings_Reference
Romeo: You’re freaking her out!
Volbeat shakes it’s tiny finger at Juliet.
Juliet: Go away!
This comment leaves Romeo in stunned silence.
May: Help! Get her off!
Romeo remains unmoving.
May: Don’t just stand there–
May moves her head out of the way of another of Juliet’s attempts to kiss her, and now Illumise is also helping May.
May: Do something!
Romeo: Juliet!
May: Help!
Bracing himself, Romeo walks over May’s legs and attempts to grab Juliet around the midsection to pull her off of May. Romeo is only partially successful in this, as he is only able to lift up Juliet’s upper body. Still, thanks to Volbeat and Illumise tickling Juliet, May is able to extract herself, and stands panting, facing Juliet.
May: Thanks, I’ve, I’ve…
Juliet: Let me go!
Romeo instantly let go of Juliet, who stumbles forwards, causing May to jump backwards. Juliet now addresses Romeo.
Juliet: Now get lost!
Romeo stares at Juliet dumbstruck.
Juliet: I mean now, baka! I don’t ever want to see you again!
Juliet now turns back to May.
Juliet: Now darling, you never even told me your–
QST.camera synchronizes with May’s field of vision as she sees Romeo pull a dagger out of a pouch on his belt, then slowly raise it to his heart is on his chest, except on the left side. May gasps loudly.
Juliet: Darling, don’t worry about him–
May can’t help but stare transfixed at Romeo holding the dagger, as Romeo prepares to stab himself. QST.camera zooms further in on the dagger as Romeo jerks it to his chest, then stops suddenly with only a tiny spot of blood on his shirt. QST.camera now desynchronizes with May’s vision.
Juliet: Why are you still watching him?
May finds herself unable to answer, and is now watching as Coal is holding onto the dagger, preventing Romeo from stabbing himself. May stares at this, panting heavily.
Coal: This could have been really bad…
Romeo tries again to stab himself with the dagger, but Coal rips it out of his hands.
May: Coal…
Juliet: I’m over here!
Juliet now grabs May’s head, and starts to go in for the kiss. In a quick moment, Coal leaps over to where May and Juliet are, pinching Juliet on the shoulder. Juliet quickly falls unconscious, and Romeo gasps.
#Star_Trek_Reference
Romeo: What did you do to her…
Coal starts to respond, but Romeo lunges for the dagger, prompting Coal to chuck it far away into the night. Romeo now stumbles back, unsure of what to do.
Coal: It’s okay, she’s just asleep.
Romeo eyes Coal nervously.
New Scene()
Team Rocket’s balloon is floating through the night with Meowth perched on the railing of the basket, looking down into the forest with binoculars. Suddenly a slight whistling sound is heard, and the dagger that Coal threw in the previous scene comes falling down in an arch towards Team Rocket’s balloon, slicing it in two before Team Rocket can react. Meowth immediately falls, while Jessie and James and the rest of the balloon are blown backwards by a gust of wind before they can start to fall.
QST.camera rapidly shifts to follow Meowth, who comes crashing through the trees, landing hard on his head right in front of Juliana.
Meowth: Ow… My Meowth…
Narrator: You know, you’ve made that joke before.
Meowth: But it never gets old.
Narrator: Yes it… Why do I even bother.
Meowth seems oblivious to the Narrator’s second comment, and looks up to see Juliana in front of him.
Meowth: Oh! What do we have here?
Meowth walks over to Juliana, and taps her on the shoulder. Slowly, Juliana stirs, and then looks up, and immediately gets hearts on her eyes. Meowth jumps back startled, and tries to run away, however Juliana grabs him by the tail and drags him back into her lap, ignoring Meowth’s struggling.
Juliana: Who’s a pretty kitty! Oh yes you are! Oh yes you are!
Juliana rubs her face into the back of Meowth’s head.
Meowth: Help!
Juliana: You’re so cutesy-wutesy! Juliana is going to squeeze all of the cutesy-wutesy out of you!
Meowth: She’s gone full yandere!
Juliana now squeezes Meowth tightly.
Meowth: Can’t breathe!
Juliana relaxes her grip slightly, enough for Meowth to get a breath of air.
Meowth: Help!
Juliana now turns Meowth around in her arms, and starts to make a kissy face.
New Scene()
May, Romeo, and Coal carrying Juliet arrive at the campsite where the rest of Ash and company are sleeping. Coal puts Juliet on the ground and goes over to where Benjy is sleeping, tapping him on the shoulder. Benjy opens his left eye, sleepily.
Benjy: ?
Coal now steps out of the way, allowing Benjy to see Juliet passed out on the ground.
Refresh Scene()
Benjy has joined May, Coal, and Romeo in standing around Juliet. Romeo again wonders if Juliet is okay, and Coal assures him that she is.
Benjy: Say that again, what happened?
May and Romeo look at each other nervously, but neither of them says anything. Juliet rolls over on the ground, startling them both. Coal now looks between May and Romeo.
Coal: I don’t blame you.
Coal turns to Benjy.
Coal: She and her boyfriend were going to meet out in these woods, don’t ask me why. Anyway, something happened to Juliet here, and she winds up head over heels for May instead.
May flinches as Coal says her name.
Benjy: You okay?
May nods slowly, then gestures for Coal to continue.
Coal: I meanwhile find that May’s Skitty has come back, and go to investigate and…
Coal cuts himself off, silently deciding not to tell Benjy about Romeo’s suicide attempt.
Coal: …And that’s that. I just can’t tell if it’s a drug, or some kind of spell, or even a psychological condition.
Romeo: Uh, Coal…
Romeo points behind Coal as Yuka walks up, carrying her basket of mushrooms.
Yuka: Is something wrong?
May: Um, who are you?
Coal: I think a better question is: what are you.
Yuka: Magical mushroom girl Yuka Yuni at your service!
#Reference_Yuna_Yuki_is_a_Hero
Ash now turns in his sleep.
Coal: Sshh.
Yuka: I don’t understand.
Coal now beckons Yuka away, along with Benjy, May, and Romeo so they don’t disturb the others, before Coal goes back to retrieve Juliet. A couple seconds later Coal returns carrying Juliet, who is close to waking up, and places her gently on the grass. Yuka looks at Juliet curiously.
Coal: Do you have any idea of what happened to her? She attacked May here.
Yuka looks from Juliet to May, and back again.
Yuka: I don’t understand. Attacked? Why is she sleeping?
Coal: I made her fall asleep, so she’s sleeping right now.
Yuka seems to understand.
Coal: It doesn’t make sense.
Romeo: That’s what I was going to–
Yuka: I swear I only picked love mushrooms!
May: Love mushrooms?
Yuka: M-hm. You eat one, and then you’ll fall in love with the next sentient life form you see!
Coal shivers.
Benjy: You’ve got to be kidding me…
Yuka: Try one!
Yuka offers Benjy a mushroom, but Benjy steps back.
Yuka: But if you won’t let me show you…
Yuka suddenly starts to look sad.
Coal: We believe you…
May: Maybe it was an allergic reaction?
Coal: I think I know what happened.
Romeo: What?
Coal procedes to ignore Romeo’s question.
Coal: Yuka. How do we negate this effect?
Yuka says nothing, but stares at Coal like a deer in the headlights. Suddenly Juliet wakes up and looks around. She now turns to May, who jumps backwards nervously.
Juliet: Darling, where did all these people come from.
May: I’m not–
Juliet suddenly leaps towards May, but Coal grabs her around the wrist.
Juliet: Hey!
Coal: May, run!
May nods, and darts off back towards the campsite. Juliet rapidly tries to escape Coal’s grip, but Coal doesn’t let go.
Juliet: Let me go!
Coal: First calm down!
Juliet: No! I won’t calm down! Not while my true love is waiting!
Juliet tries to kick Coal, but Coal leaps backwards to avoid it while still holding Juliet by the wrist.
Juliet: LET ME GO! (angry)
Romeo: Juliet!
Juliet: Shut-up!
Romeo looks taken aback, despite both Volbeat and Illumise clinging to his legs.
Coal: She doesn’t mean what she’s say–
Coal jumps back again as Juliet tries to break free.
Juliet: You shut up you filthy–!
Benjy: I’m going to go see to May.
Coal nods, and Benjy slips off. Juliet continues to try and escape, while Yuka looks catatonic.
Romeo: What’s going on?
Coal: I think we broke her.
Coal gestures to Yuka, then suddenly gasps in pain as Juliet has kicked him in the shin, and falls to hit bottom giving Juliet just the break she needs to escape and run charging off in the direction that May went.
QST.camera shifts ahead to where Benjy is picking his way through the dark forest, when sudden footsteps behind him cause him to turn around, almost tripping over a root.
Juliet’s Voice: I’m coming my love!
Benjy starts to back up slowly, but after a couple steps, Juliet comes running out of the forest and crashes into him, knocking them both to the ground as their heads collide, in what is probably the least romantic way possible, as their foreheads smack together. Benjy groans in pain. QST.camera now zooms out, as Juliet looks up and screams for about three seconds (real time).
Juliet is forced now to stop screaming to catch her breath, and footsteps can be heard in the forest behind her.
New Scene()
Back at the campsite, everyone is awake, and Brock is applying a bandage to Benjy’s head.
Max: So now we know what goes bump in the night.
Juliet moans, and Brock finishes bandaging Benjy’s head and moves to Coal’s shin. Benjy now lies down in the grass.
Juliet: Hey, what about me!
Brock: Hold on princess, you’re injuries aren’t that bad.
Juliet fumes.
Coal: I take this is how you normally are?
Juliet: Romeo! Who are these people!
Coal: Wait, are Romeo and Juliet their actual names?
Romeo: They’re people who stopped you from being possessed.
May: Actually, I think the collision did that.
As May speaks, QST.camera shifts to where May is sitting next to where Benjy is resting his head on the grass.
Juliet: So then tell me! Why did I become like that!
Romeo: Ih-it was a magical mushroom girl.
Juliet: You’re not making any sense! I summon the person who did this to me!
Suddenly, Yuka appears with a bolt of light in the middle of the campsite.
Juliet: And who the zark are you?!
Yuka: Magical mushroom girl Yuka Yuni at your service! It looks like that mushroom wore off. Would you like another?
Juliet: NO!
In a single motion simultaneous with her comment, Juliet pulls out a three-foot-long paper fan and smacks Yuka in the back of her head. And and company all watch, dumbstruck.
Yuka: Ow! That hurts!
Juliet: This is what happens to people who drug me!
Juliet slaps Yuka again with her fan, causing the later to cry out.
Juliet: And take this–
Yuka leaps out of the way of the attack, darting off into the forest.
Yuka: I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry!
Juliet smugly watches Yuka run away.
Brock: Um, okay…
New Scene()
Magical mushroom girl queen Juliana is still petting Meowth, who in turn is rapidly looking for an opportunity to escape.
Meowth: You know, I hate to break it to you girl, but we’re not even the right species–
Juliana: Aww, pretty kitty can talk. You’re a smart kitty! Yes you are!
Meowth: Pretty-kitty is going to have to do some barfy-warfy.
Juliana appears completely oblivious to whatever Meowth is saying, and then she suddenly taps his nose.
Juliana: Boop.
Meowth: Stop that!
Juliana doesn’t stop, but instead does this more, which prompts Meowth to try to scratch her.
Juliana: Oh, does kitty-witty need more huggy-wuggy?
Juliana grabs Meowth around the chest and hugs him, resulting a *thhp* sound. Juliana giggles.
Juliana: Did kitty-witty make a stinky-winky?
Meowth: That was you, lady!
Jessie’s Voice: Meowth, is that you?
Meowth: Yeah! Help, I’m being strangled by a magical girl!
James’s Voice: A magical girl?
New Scene()
Jessie and James are standing in the nearby forest.
Jessie: What’s a magical girl?
James: Probably a girl who’s eaten too many mushrooms.
Revert Scene()
Jessie’s Voice: Then you need to prepare for trouble!
James’s Voice: Since you have our Meowth, this trouble will magically double!
Juliana is still holding Meowth, but at the same time she is listening intently to the voices coming from the forest.
Jessie’s Voice: To protect the world from devastation.
James’s Voice: To unite all peoples within our nation.
Jessie’s Voice: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
James’s Voice: To extend our reach to the stars above!
With a sudden motion, Jessie and James burst from the thicket.
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth: Meowth, now let me go!
Refresh Scene()
Jessie and James size up Juliana.
James: So that’s a magical girl.
QST.camera shifts to Juliana who is now holding Meowth like a teddy bear in her right hand, and twirling her wand in the left.
Jessie: Hey you!
Juliana says nothing, but just continues observing Team Rocket.
James: That Meowth belongs to us!
Juliana shakes her head.
Juliana: I found it. Finders keepers losers weepers.
James: I guess this doesn’t give us much of a…
Jessie: Something wrong?
James: It just doesn’t seem right beating up something so moe.
Jessie: You twit! Our job is all about doing things that don’t seem right! Seviper, poison tail!
Jessie throws Seviper’s ball, and Seviper emerges from it, and rushes at Juliana before swinging it’s poison-seeped tail right at her. In the blink of an eye, Juliana dodges the attack with a pair of backflips, landing on her feet, still holding onto both her wand and Meowth.
Jessie: Now poison sting!
Seviper lifts up it’s head and shoots poison stings at Juliana, who leaps into the air to dodge them. Juliana now points her wand at Seviper.
Juliana: Mushroom blaster!
Juliana’s wand starts to glow as she leaps over Seviper, and then suddenly Juliana fires a blast of energy, striking Seviper in the middle of it’s body. Not quite landing a KO, but dealing massive damage.
Jessie: James!
James: R-right! Cacnea! Pin missile!
Cacnea pops out of it’s ball, and grabbing James in one hand, uses it’s other hand to shoot pin missiles at Juliana, who leaps from branch to branch to dodge them, although Cacnea keeps following her.
James: You can’t escape! Cacnea–
Juliana, now out of places to run, spins her wand around, which creates a magical shield that reflects the pin missiles back at Team Rocket, who leap out of their way.
Jessie: What do you think you’re doing!
James: I didn’t know she could do that!
On the tree-branch, Juliana raises her wand into the air.
Juliana: Miracle-love blast!
A large, rounded red-pink heart condenses out of the air in front of Juliana’s wand. About one second later (real time), Juliana points her wand at Team Rocket, sending this heart careening towards Team Rocket, who leap out of the way as this heart crashes into the ground and explodes violently, shaking the entire forest. Partly due to this, Meowth is able to slip out of Juliana’s arms unnoticed.
New Scene()
Ash and company hear the sound of this blast from their campsite, and Romeo and Juliet both turn in the direction of the noise.
Max: What was that?
Revert Scene()
Jessie: Dustox!
Jessie sends out Dustox towards Juliana.
Jessie: Tackle!
Dustox’s tackle doesn’t reach Juliana, whom knocks Dustox out of the sky with a bolt of energy.
Jessie: You’ll pay for that!
Juliana: Love-ray cannon!
Juliana moves her wand through the air, tracing the outline of a heart in the air. Suddenly, the area within the heart glows white and shoots a beam down at Team Rocket, faster than they can react. At the same time, Meowth runs towards Jessie and James. Before Jessie or James can acknowledge Meowth, Juliana’s attack crashes into the ground and explodes on impact, kicking up a mushroom cloud. Juliana watches this satisfied, seeming to have completely forgotten about Meowth.
New Scene()
Team Rocket is sailing through the night sky.
Jessie: How come when someone steals from us we still blast off?
Meowth: Well maybe if you had had Wobbuffet reflect that, there might have been a different outcome!
Jessie grabs Meowth by both sides of the mouth.
Jessie: Well it’s a little too late for that don’t you think!
Meowth: My Meowth!
Jessie: That’s getting old!
Narrator: Please, it was dead the first time he said it.
James: I hate to remind you Jess, but…
Jessie: ?
Jessie looks down, and QST.camera follows her vision.
{Jessie, James, Meowth}: We’re blasting off again!
As Team Rocket speaks this line, QST.camera stops following them and at the same time returns to point in their direction in time to capture Team Rocket shooting into the sky, before they disappear with a twinkle of light.
New Scene()
Insects chirp around Ash and company’s camp site as the group watches Romeo and Juliet with Volbeat and Illumise walking off into the dark forest. Coal puts his palm to his forehead, then lies back in his sleeping bag staring up at the stars, and mumbles something unintelligible under his breath.
Ash: Is that really why we don’t travel at night?
Coal: It’s a large part of why *I* try to avoid it. The forests are an entirely different world once it gets dark.
Max: I’m worried…
Coal: Then get to sleep. You’ll be safer.
May: I don’t understand…
Brock: Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense at all…
Coal: Magical mushroom girls won’t interact with you if you’re asleep. Technically they’re active at all times of the day, but for some reason they don’t seem to notice people, et cetera who are sleeping. It’s like they sense your waking energy.
Max: What about all the other creatures that could–
Coal: There aren’t any pokémon around here that would even think of eating you. Maybe a Skarmory if it got really desperate, but they only come out in the daytime.
Ash: What about Zubat?
Coal: Have you ever been hassled by Zubat outside of a cave?
Ash: Um…
Coal: Zubat and it’s evolutions won’t ever fly this close to the ground. It’s why we sleep on the ground and not in trees.
Ash, May, Max, and Brock all stare at Coal. Benjy is already asleep.
Coal: Or at least why I do.
May: One more question: what are magical mushroom girls?
Coal sighs.
Coal: That’s a question no one has an answer to. Some people think that they’re children that died in the god-wars somehow brought back to life. Some think that they’re aliens, or that they’re orphans, but ultimately no one has a definite answer. Some people claim to have been magical mushroom girls though. But this is really a topic for the morning.
With this, Coal closes his eyes and starts snoring softly.
New Scene()
Romeae and Yuka are walking towards the campsite; Yuka is holding her cheek still. Upon reaching the campsite, Romeae raises her wand, which casts light on the sleeping Ash and company.
Romeae: You said a girl hit you–is that her?
Yuka shakes her head. Romeae sighs before bending down to inspect Ash and company, one by one.
Romeae: Darn it, they’re all sleeping.
Yuka whimpers.
Romeae: And it would be rude to wake them.
Yuka whimpers again, so Romeae gets up and walks over to her and puts her (Romeae’s) arm around Yuka.
Romeae: It’s alright, they couldn’t have gotten far.
Yuka puts her arm around Romeae, and hand in hand the two magical mushroom girls walk off into the forest with their arms around each-other.
Romeae: Magical mushroom girl king Romeae is going to make her pay for what she did!
Narrator: Interesting. According to my guide for Hitchhikers, magical mushroom girls are a phenomenon only seen on two planets, Fenyra and Aicra. They live in forests and are mainly active from noon to midnight, they supposedly spend half their waking time looking for food. But it’s still unclear where they come from. Hmm.
New Scene()
Juliana is walking through the forest when a magical mushroom girl in a blue dress leaps down from a tree branch and lands in from of her.
Girl_in_Blue: Queen Juliana!
Juliana: Don’t bother me; I’m looking for a cat!
Girl_in_Blue: You’re supposed to be looking for the sugar mushroom!
Juliana: Sorry, I’m busy right now.
Girl_in_Blue: You can’t eat a cat.
Juliana: What did you just say?
Girl_in_Blue: You’re supposed to be looking for the sugar mushroom, remember?
Juliana: Uh, vaguely…
Girl_in_Blue: Then I’ll help you!
The girl in blue raises her wand and suddenly something shatters around Juliana, making her fall over.
Girl_in_Blue: Qu-Queen Juliana!
Juliana: Huh, what am I doing here, Miyuki?
Girl_in_Blue → Miyuki: You said something about a cat?
Juliana: Huh. That doesn’t make sense. You can’t eat cats.
Miyuki: That’s what I said. You must’ve been under a spell.
Juliana: Hmm…
Cutscene(@Flashback) {
Yuka now jiggles the vine, and Juliana’s tufts of hair bounce, while the girl in purple follows the bouncing mushroom with her eyes
Narrator: Please tell me that you aren’t dumb enough to actually fall for that…
Ignoring the narrator, the girl in purple examines the mushroom on the vine, and her eyes suddenly get stars on them upon seeing this mushroom. Very carefully, she picks the mushroom from the vine, then takes a large bite, and chews and swallows, all in the cutest way possible. As soon as she swallows, Yuka’s wand glows above her (only the tip of the wand is shown), and Juliana falls asleep, unable to take another bite of the mushroom.
}
Juliana: Miyuki, go find Rita. THIS! IS! WARRRRRR!
After hearing Juliana’s battle cry, Miyuki leaps away into the trees.
Narrator: Lets end this comedy before it becomes a tragedy. Actually, we have to end anyway, we’re out of time. What will happen to Ash and company in the morning? That’s not a rhetorical question; I haven’t actually read the script yet!
…///To Be Continued///…
©September 17, 2015 by Benjamin Strauss